Monday, September 29, 2008

Fourteen Months Old Now!

Honest, officer, I'm innocent!

Ephraim wasn't so sure about Jensen's robot at first.

I finally captured Ephraim's big grin!

I love his expression with his tongue stuck out.

He's standing alone and taking a couple of steps.

Some mohawk!

My early reader

He must be looking for a vacation home.

He loved the little car Memaw gave him this weekend.

The 6-9 month overalls have to be rolled up.

We were playing hide-and-seek.

Ephraim's new mode of transportation - up on hands and toes.

Memaw's chocolate chip cookies

I don't think combing it will help it lay down!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Deja Vu All Over Again

Ephraim will be 14 months old this week. Because he was born three months early, his adjusted age is 11 months. He recently had his developmental evaluation completed by TEIS. His gross and fine motor skills are close to age level in nearly every area, and he has even met some of the developmental milestones for a 15 month old! He hasn't, however, met any milestones for communication skills, so he is scoring below four months of age. We had a feeling that his communication skills were more than slightly delayed, and it concerned us that he is making almost no effort to mimic us, but seeing the report in black and white was a bit of a kick in the stomach.

A young woman from Foundations has been coming to our house once a week to work with Ephraim. Just this week she gave us a handful of printouts on the communication skills that are typical for a child who is between four and six months old. Helping Ephraim achieve these skills will be our priority.

Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it), we have plenty of experience with communication disorders and delays:

Riley, our 13-year-old biological son, has autism. At six years old he could not tell us his full name, name his brothers and sisters, give his telephone number or address, couldn't identify a single color, shape, letter or number and couldn't even tell us his age. He could, however, sing the lyrics to songs after hearing them only one time and could re-create long scenes from movies after only one viewing. He was both hypo-sensitive and hyper-sensitive. Haircuts were a nightmare because the trimmed hair on his neck felt like needles to him, and he would cry and curl into fetal position at the painful sound of the vacuum, bean grinder or a baby crying. On the other hand, he broke his foot, and we didn't even know it for a week.

Along with various biomedical treatments, primarily the gluten-free, casein-free diet, we battled his autism with Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). Riley is now up to grade level in every subject except for reading and spelling. He is almost 100% recovered from autism! Most of his delays are now due to his dyslexia, not his autism.

Along came Barrett and Keaton, adopted in 2002 from Guatemala at 14 months old. They were in separate but almost equally horrible foster homes, and they came to us with some major emotional baggage. At the age of two years old, we had extensive testing done at Vanderbilt. We were told one of the girls had severe global delays, and the other had profound global delays. We were encouraged to put their names on the waiting list at the Susan Grey School, were told it was doubtful they would ever develop speech, and they were given IQ's of less than 50.

They seemed much more seriously autistic than our son had ever been, all caused by their early environment. Where Riley's eye contact had been weak, Barrett's and Keaton's were non-existent. Where Riley was lovable and a pretty fair cuddler, they would stiffen, arch their backs and scream for hours if we tried to engage them. Pressed to communicate, they would "zone out" to the point that the Vandy psychologist was convinced they were having petit mal seizures. At two years old, their communication skills were less than that of a two month old.

During this time Foundations was coming to our house once a week, we were taking them once a week to the Bill Wilkerson Speech and Hearing Clinic at Vanderbilt for private speech therapy and a second day a week for a half day of developmental preschool. They were also receiving both physical and occupational therapy. Nothing was working. They spent the hours in their various therapies screaming and kicking the door or sitting like zombies.

So we took matters into our own hands and pulled out the ABA books. The first skill to be learned was to have the children sit in chairs for one second and work up to five seconds. Those first few weeks were awful! We would place them in their chairs, and they would immediately stiffen, slide into the floor and then scream at the top of their lungs for at least two hours afterwards.

Then we discovered the magic of mini M & M's. We would place them in their chairs, say "Good job" and immediately pop in a piece of candy. Bingo!

After that we worked on other skills for months with no progress. I would say, "Do this" and complete a task such as knocking on the table top, clapping my hands, waving bye-bye or sticking out my tongue. Ben would take their hands, copy the action and I would pop in the candy. We progressed to no screaming, but they wouldn't do the action without prompting.

One day it clicked! Remember the scene from the movie, "The Miracle Worker" when Annie Sullivan runs water over Helen Keller's hands and signs "water" over and over? Suddenly it clicks, and Helen runs all over the yard wanting to know the sign for everything. The girls had the same light bulb moment within minutes of each other. Ben would mold their hands into the sign for "more", and I would pop in the candy. After about a million times, they froze, and you could see the wheels turning. Suddenly they signed for themselves until chocolate was running down their faces, and I was out of M & M's. Who cared if they just ate their weight in junk food! Then they hopped down, ran to the water fountain over and over and signed so that I would turn on the water. Then they ran to the back door and began signing "more" so that I would open and close the door. Maybe "more" wasn't exactly the sign for door opening. They had learned they could communicate, and we would respond.

Within weeks they were mimicking so many behaviors and signing so many words, I could no longer write down everything they knew! Exactly one year after their first evaluation, we took them back to Vandy and they saw the same psychologist. She could not believe they were the same children! They were extremely shy but now talking, could perform most of the tasks given to them, they were making eye contact and SMILING! She gave them new IQ scores of over 120 and said it would even be higher if she didn't have to factor in their language delays.

The girls have just begun first grade. They are doing 2nd grade math, are reading at 3rd grade level and write some amazingly-mature essays. They are snuggly, loving, silly, goofy, mischievous and have a wonderful sense of humor.

Today I pulled out those same ABA books for Ephraim. We are in a Catch 22 situation trying to receive speech therapy for him. We can't really say it was very helpful with the twins, so we are giving up the battle for services and will once again take matters into our own hands. I think we will see quick progress because I believe he has great potential. Ephraim is very coordinated, has a LONG attention span, and he's amazingly intuitive with anything mechanical. He's also fearless, is not shy at all, and most importantly, he has bonded with us -- our major obstacle with the girls.

We had our initial ABA session today, and his first task was "tap the table". I would tap the table three times, say, "Do this" and wait just a second to see if Ephraim would respond. Ben would then tap his hand for him, and I would quickly pop in a mini M & M while exclaiming, "Good job!" After only about five repetitions, we could see the wheels turning, and after ten repetitions, he tentatively placed his hand in a fist on the table top. After that, his attention span was spent, but we were very encouraged for our first day.

I am certainly not a psychologist, but I have my uninformed theory on why we are facing these challenges yet again. In the twins' case, they were neglected and ignored during that window of opportunity when children learn the give-and-take of communication. With Ephraim, I believe the overworked nannies were too busy at The Sarah Noble Malnutrition Center caring for the medical and nutritional problems of the children to dwell on developing their communication skills, so again that window of opportunity was lost. Because of Ephraim's extreme prematurity, he was more at risk than many of the other children for missing that opportunity. Our now-five-year-old daughter, who was born nine weeks early, initially had some minor communication delays, and since she is biological, I certainly can't blame her delays on early orphanage life. Whatever the cause, ABA has helped open those windows, and I'm very optimistic that we'll see great gains for Ephraim very soon!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Creative Writing

As a part of our homeschool curriculum, all of the children are expected to write a story each day. Reid, our kindergartener, has decided to begin each essay with, "I am a _______". Here are four of my favorites:

I am a cat I eat cat food I poop in the litter box.

I am a tiger I eat people and drink water and I like to run.

I am a statue I like to stay still and I like to blow fake air.

I am a egg I like to get eaten this is the end.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A Miser's Weekend

We had the perfect miser's weekend, and the kids had a blast with our simple pleasures! Because so many of the gas stations were out of gas, and the few that had gas had two-hour-long lines, we decided it would be prudent to stay home this weekend and not go to the lake. So our weekend fun started early.

Ben and I have been riding our bikes on Rails to Trails, a paved path that runs along the river, but we've been leaving the kids home with Bailey because we didn't have a way to take Ephraim along with us. This past week we bought a second bike trailer, so we all hit the trails Thursday morning and cycled the nine-mile-long round trip. Barrett and Keaton rode behind Ben, Ephraim and Reid rode behind me, and Jensen and Riley motored under their own steam. Ephraim loved it, but my legs weren't used to the extra baggage. I felt like I had wet noodles for legs by the end.

Thursday night we had a spend-the-night party in the apartment over Ben's office. About a year ago we bought a really cool house built in 1906 and converted the downstairs into a medical office, but left the upstairs as a two-bedroom apartment. The kids love to sleep there! It's right on Main Street, is walking distance to fast food and convenience stores, and it has cable. Even though we are talking about Main Street in a town of only 3500 people, that's big city for the kids! Our farmhouse doesn't have cable, and we are ten miles away from the nearest restaurant or store. So that night we all ate junk food, then the kids stayed up late watching Hannah Montana, and Ben and I stayed up late watching a Jon and Kate Plus Eight marathon. I've never seen the show before, but I'm now a fan.

Friday during the day Ben and I worked downstairs on the office. The office is up and running, but there are still lots of small cosmetic things left to do. That evening we went to the Hometown Hoedown at the county co-op. They served free hamburgers, BBQ, drinks and chips, had several bluegrass bands performing, and they gave away so many door prizes, nearly everyone won something. Jensen won two free music lessons; she's thinking she's going to give the banjo a try. The twins were fascinated by the clogging, so they've decided that's their new love. We saw lots of people we knew. They all oohed and aahed over Ephraim and wanted to carry him around. I was surprised how many men asked to hold him!

Saturday was a gorgeous day, so the kids all played outside while Ben and I refinished some bookshelves for Ben's office. That evening we took the girls and a friend of Jensen's to Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds at Movie in the Park. Can you tell our girls are Hannah Montana freaks?!? The event was sponsored by the Civitans. Admission was free, Go Jump set up all the blow-up outdoor equipment, they served corn dogs, chips, drinks and ice cream sandwiches for only $2.oo a person, and they gave away boxes of popcorn during the movie. The screen was set up at homebase, and we got there early enough that we were able to set up our quilt right at the edge of the grass behind the baseball diamond at second base -- front row center stage!

Sunday we went to church. After lunch the kids played outside again while we continued working on the bookshelves. Tonight Bailey read the little guys another chapter of Betsy-Tacy, and the kids all went to bed worn out and ready for some sleep.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Philosophical Questions

Reid had two questions for me today:
(1) Why can't you catch air?
(2) Why can't you stand on a cloud?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Future Career Goals

The girls went to Girl Scouts last night. Reid is a Daisy this year, and Barrett and Keaton are Brownies. Last night was Career Night. The girls were asked to draw pictures of what they wanted to be when they grew up. Keaton wants to take money from people at Wal-Mart. I hope her plans are to be a cashier and not a pickpocket! Barrett wants to be Hannah Montana, and Reid wants to be a bunny rabbit! Hmmm ...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Second Post-Adoption Visit

I can't believe it's already time for Ephraim's second post-adoption visit! Where is the time going? This was an important month for another very special reason too. September 10th was the twins' *sixth* Gotcha Day! Wow!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Snoozin' Again

That kid can nap anywhere - except in his own bed! We went to the lake this weekend, and Ephraim fell asleep in Ben's arms in the water. We had a pile of floats on the dock, so Ben set him on the stack and covered him up with a towel. He didn't stir for over an hour. Why then can't he manage to take more than a 15-minute nap at home in his crib with his softest blanket and wearing warm, dry pajamas?!?

What a weekend! When we left on Thursday, the weather was gorgeous and gas was $3.55 a gallon. When we returned home on Sunday, the power was out in our cabin, we were driving on both sides of the road dodging large, downed tree limbs ... and gas was $4.45 a gallon.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Random Cute Pictures

Nothing much happened today. I just had some cute pictures I wanted to post. By the way, I'm trying to come up with a new blog site title since, "Journey to Ephraim" no longer applies. Any suggestions out there? I can't think of too many sayings that involve a family of fourteen other than Cheaper By The Dozen or Dirty Dozen, and I can't manage a cute title like Pho for Four because it just gets TOO long when I have to include food from Vietnam, Russia, Guatemala *and* the United States!

Monday, September 8, 2008


Although Ephraim HATES being confined in his car seat and his highchair, he loves his stroller. This weekend we took walks each evening at Land Between the Lakes. Ephraim tried so hard to stay awake and enjoy the ride, but he just couldn't keep his eyes open.

He Stands!

Ephraim is standing very solidly now. In fact, he can lower himself and stand back up without help. He's so proud of himself! When he stands, he looks to make sure we are watching, grins broadly, claps (which makes him sway a bit), and yells, "yea!"

Ephraim is still a very tiny guy. The clothes he's wearing in the pictures, which are still a bit large for him, are 6-9 months, and his too-big sandals, shown in an earlier blog, are a size four.

Referral Picture

Referral Picture

Adoption Timeline

  • 2006
  • November 8 - Application Mailed
  • November 22 - Accepted
  • November 24 - I-600A Mailed
  • November 27 - Delivery Confirmed
  • November 28 - Receipt of I-600A
  • November 30 - Fingerprint Notice
  • December 15 - Home Study Update
  • December 21 - Stacey Fingerprinted
  • December 28 - Added to List (#116)
  • 2007
  • January 24 - Home Study Mailed
  • January 25 - Ben Fingerprinted
  • February 8 - Waiting List (#111)
  • February 20 - Waiting List (#109)
  • February 27 - Waiting List (#105)
  • March 8 - Waiting List (#101)
  • March 22 - Waiting List (#99)
  • April 19 - Waiting List (#98)
  • April 25 - Dossier Authentication
  • May 2 - Delivery Confirmed
  • May 2 - Added to SN Wait List
  • May 3 - Waiting List (#97)
  • June 7 - Waiting List (#86)
  • June 25 - Dossier Translated
  • June 28 - On Waiting List Six months
  • July 9 - Waiting List (#81)
  • August 6 - Waiting List (#4 SN)
  • August 8 - Waiting List (#76)
  • September 7 - Waiting List (#70)
  • October 8 - Waiting List (#67)
  • October 22 - Waiting child -- OURS!!
  • October 23 - Official Referral Date
  • October 25 - Letter #1 Submitted
  • October 29 - Referral Receipt - CHI
  • 2008
  • February 5 - Fingerprint Request
  • February 7 - Proof of Delivery
  • March 1 - All Fingerprinted
  • March 3 - I-600 Application Mailed
  • March 5 - I-600 Acknowledgement
  • April 17 - I-600 Approval!
  • May 2 - Original G & R Date
  • May 3 - Fly to Ho Chi Minh City
  • May 5 - MEET EPHRAIM!
  • May 6 - Drive to Kien Giang
  • May 7 - G & R Ceremony
  • May 8 - Medical, Apply for Passport
  • May 12 - Fly to Hanoi
  • May 13 - Visa appointment at USCIS
  • May 14 - Pick Up Visa, Fly Home
  • May 15 - Arrive in Nashville!
  • May 23 - Certificate of Citizenship
  • June 12 - Re-Adoption Filed by Court
  • July 3 - Tennessee Birth Certificate

G & R Day

G & R Day