Red & Yellow, Black & White

Finally A New Post!

2010-07-17T18:35:00.008-05:00

I haven't blogged for quite awhile, but it hasn't been because we haven't been busy. Go to: ourpathtoethiopia.blogspot.com and see what we've been up to this past year! We just got back from Ethiopia today, so if you will check back in a few days, I hope to have news of our travels posted.

Our Dock

2010-03-19T14:47:00.003-05:00

A friend of Brad's took this picture when they spent a few days at our lake cabin last fall. Isn't this a beautiful picture? I have to admit the dock isn't really as pretty as it looks. It's definitely what you'd call "rustic".

Wake Up Ladybugs

2010-03-17T18:34:00.006-05:00

We have had a massive influx of ladybugs who have come into our house to promptly die. Ephraim LOVES ladybugs. I found him laying on the floor pushing around some of the pile of dead ones saying, "Wake up, little ladybugs. Ladybugs! No sleeping!"

Our Church's Series on "Planned" Parenthood"

2010-03-11T00:30:00.003-06:00

Spring

2009-06-25T20:26:00.003-05:00

I am SO far behind on blogging! I'm determined to do better. I might as well go in chronological order, so here at the end of June I'm posting some pretty pictures of our Bradford pear trees that were in bloom this spring.

Gotcha Day!

2009-05-07T23:14:00.005-05:00

Today is Ephraim's Gotcha Day. One year ago was Ephraim's G & R ceremony, and he became officially ours. Actually, I think we became official his. Here's a link to my blog from last year.

New Bathroom!

2009-05-06T12:06:00.004-05:00

We finally redecorated the bathroom that adjoins my office! My oldest daughter, Brooke, was my interior decorator because she's much better at that sort of thing than I am. Ben was my laborer. Didn't it turn out well? It's very girly! I wish I had taken "before" pictures, but I always forget. Anyway, the bathroom was last decorated twelve years ago for my now-twenty-three-year-old son, so you can imagine. It had beige walls, American flag floor mats, a denim shower curtain, and the matching towels long ago went off to college with my son. In case you are wondering, I took a close-up picture of the switch plate to show the wonders of the new metallic spray paints. We've painted quite a few of our switch plates at home and at the lake with various metallic colors, and they've turned out great! It's a huge savings to spray a plain, plastic switch plate too, rather than buying new ones for several dollars a piece.

First Anniversary

2009-05-05T21:24:00.011-05:00

One year ago today we met Ephraim for the first time. What amazing year this has been and what an amazing little boy we have. We are so blessed! I can't imagine our life without him. Here is a link to our first meeting.

Turn Off Player Before Watching

2009-04-21T20:29:00.002-05:00

Balance

2009-04-20T10:12:00.026-05:00

Wow! I got lots of private emails about my last post. I'm afraid that my poor attempt at self-effacing humor in the exaggerated style of Erma Bombeck when I referred to myself as a burnt-out-shell-geriatric mom fell a little flat for some readers.

It's not that the pendulum has swung, and I've gone from supermom to slacker mom! I'm not burnt out when it comes to my children. I love being a mom, and I think that after nearly twenty-six years of motherhood, I've finally managed to find the right balance. I'm enjoying this stage of my life more than any other time, and I'm enjoying my kids more than ever. I'm just a slacker mom when it comes to attempting to please everyone, volunteer for everything, participate in every activity, worry about what everyone thinks and set my goals so high they are unattainable.

There are definitely things I no longer do. I no longer participate in activities just because others try to convince me that I should. I'm no longer the most active music mom or soccer mom or church mom. We no longer attend every homeschool group field trip and function. I've learned to say no when I feel like the time spent at home together as a family is more beneficial than the activity.

I no longer feel like I have to do everything. My children need me to be a good mom, not a perfect mom. Perfect mom is too hard on the children. I have used disposable diapers for quite awhile now. I still enjoy baking bread, canning and smocking dresses, but I do those things when I have time as an enjoyable hobby. Those things are no longer an obligation. I no longer feel like the kids have to have homemade bread every morning and a closetful of handmade clothes.

Some days I feel badly that the younger children aren't involved in music or sports, but then I remember the hours upon hours of commuting and hanging out in the car with bored and cranky babies and toddlers waiting for lessons or orchestra rehearsals for the older children to end, and I don't miss that. I have decided our time together as a family is more important than the skills they are missing. Life is more laid back and fun. We're not spending each day meeting schedules, rushing around hunting for lost shoes, sitting in traffic and stressed out.

I simply placed too many demands on myself when I was a young mother. Many of those demands were in my pursuit to be the best mother I could be, but I have to admit that some of those self-imposed demands were because of my worry about what other people thought about my parenting ability. Now I'm not so concerned about what other people think. I'm more comfortable in my own skin.

I've also learned that it's not always best for my children for me to be in their faces twenty-four hours a day. Sometimes I'm a better mom after giving myself a little break by popping in a video for my kids while I read a book, take a long bath or play on the computer.

I think with age and experience, I have better learned what is important and what is just a time killer and frustration creator. I don't try to potty train or teach the children to read or drill them on their multiplication tables before they are physically or mentally ready. Otherwise it's just a lesson in futility.

When I first started homeschooling, I used some poor curriculum that required way too much teacher preparation time, was too time intensive for the benefit gained, or the kids and I simply hated. There was not so much curriculum available back in the 1980's, but also if I spent the money on a book I didn't like, I felt I couldn't waste it by throwing the book away. Since that time I have found that my time and the kids' time is too precious to waste on anything but the best materials, and it can be more effective to cut our losses and start over. I have now found homeschool curriculum that I love, the kids love, has minimal preparation time and is simply more efficient. That way I can teach more effectively, and our school days are no longer so long.

After more than twenty years of homeschooling, I have learned to pare things down to what is important and to quit sweating the small stuff that won't matter a year from now, much less twenty years from now. I have also learned tricks to overcome learning bumps in the road, and I have learned when to push and when to back off. That learning curve when I first started homeschooling was stressful. I wasn't confident in my skills. Now I can see the results in my grown children and am more confident ... and less stressed.

I've learned that some days we just need to take a break. Maybe I'm in a bad mood or the kids are tired and school just isn't clicking. Maybe we need an hour to chill; maybe we need to take the rest of the day off. Maybe I'm trying to teach them a skill they just aren't ready for, and we need to put that book back on the shelf for a week ... or a month ... or a year. Maybe the book that worked like a dream for big sister just isn't right for little brother.

I started changing my teaching style (backing off) when Ben went into private practice, and I had to manage the business aspect of the practice. It was no longer possible to do everything I had been doing with the kids, and I found out that the kids kept right on learning even though I was no longer breathing down their necks ... and they were having more fun. On days that I was busy billing and couldn't get to school, I would find the kids reading a novel, writing a story or pulling out the field guides reading about a really cool bug they found on the windowsill. They might be reading the baby a book, playing school with the dog, learning how to program the calculator, or playing an educational computer game. Our house was suddenly filled with art projects, Lego creations, building projects and science experiments. The children were learning to teach themselves, and they were pretty darn good at it!

That's not to say that every day is a party. Math facts have to be memorized, long division has to be learned, and the Krebs cycle has to be understood. But if history can be learned with an interesting novel, why use a boring textbook? Why not study chemistry by blowing up something rather than reading about chemical reactions?

In the long run I think the younger children will be every bit as successful in school if not more so because they enjoy learning just for the sake of learning. Many nights I find the eleven year old hiding under the covers finishing up her history novel because she can't wait to find out how it ends. The six and seven year olds beg for us to let them read us just one more library book. With the older kids, I pushed them many times past the point where it was fun. I've learned with the younger kids you leave them always wanting more.

Perfection?

2009-04-07T22:07:00.010-05:00

What's the perfect mom?

When I was a twenty-something mom with my older children, I was the ubermom I've referred to in earlier posts. My kids not only took music lessons starting at three or four years old at Vanderbilt, but they were the top students. They practiced a couple of hours each day, showed up for every group class, every orchestra rehearsal, and every performance. They were the perfect music students, and I agreed to every request, even if it meant blowing a day of homeschooling just so the kids could perform at the luncheon of some minor fundraiser. In the summers I took the kids to music camps from Chicago to Memphis to New York. My older kids grew up to be principal cellists of our city youth orchestras, won regional competitions, and received substantial college scholarships for both music and academics to top private universities and Ivy League colleges.

Besides music, they played soccer, which involved practices and games up to five times a week.

They never missed a game or a practice. In addition the boys were super involved in Boy Scouts. They earned the rank of Eagle by the age of thirteen, and our oldest was one of only a handful of boys in the nation who earned every single merit badge.

Our homeschooling went the same way. I was teaching the kids phonics at the same time I was potty training them, so they were reading and wearing big kid panties by the time they were two years old. I used every available moment as a teachable moment. The kids did hours of hardcore school each day. They worked several years above grade level, and we spent all our vacation time visiting museums and taking advantage of educational opportunities.

I was very vigilant. No junk food or sugar, no TV, and no videos other than G or the occasional PG movie. I pre-read all the books before the kids read them. I censored all their music.

On the downside, the kids were overly scheduled, we spent all our days commuting to Nashville and hanging out in the van while waiting through lesson times and rehearsals, and I was a pretty stressed-out and not-too-fun mother. I used every available moment to teach the kids rather than ever simply enjoying them. There was no downtime.

Our older kids are now adults, and I think they are pretty well adjusted. They still enjoy their music, they were successful college students, and they are successful adults. We have a good relationship, and I talk with them several times a week.

Now I'm a forty-something mom. None of the kids are taking music lessons because I'm totally burnt out driving to Nashville, fighting the traffic and fighting for a parking space, much less practicing with them several hours a day. I no longer jump when someone wants me to volunteer for something. None of the kids are involved in sports. The kids' sports program includes a swing set, a basketball goal and a trampoline, (which the older children weren't allowed to own). The kids participate in Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, but Ben is no longer an assistant scoutmaster. We drop everyone off now and grocery shop during our free evening.

We now potty train our kids as late as three years old rather than at eighteen months. Ephraim is twenty months old and is walking around sucking on a bottle. I would never have allowed our older kids to do that. Our older kids had scheduled meal, nap and bedtimes. Ephraim takes his nap on my shoulder, thinks his crib is poison before nine o'clock at night and grazes for meals. He starts out the night in his own bed but ends up between Ben and me before morning.

We now start homeschooling the kids in kindergarten, not at preschool age, and those first years involve shorter hours and are more laid back and child led than in the past. We now have school four mornings a week instead of all day for as much as six days a week. If we get engrossed in a really good novel, we read it non-stop for a couple of days, and that's the extent of our school for those days. We count science projects, storytime at the library, and the time we spend studying a really cool bug for school days. When we reach the mandated 180 days for the year, we stop. The kids are at or above grade level, but they definitely aren't going to be going to college at sixteen like the older kids.

Nowadays we have three-day weekends every week, and we party! The younger kids know who Ronald McDonald is, and they've had banana splits for supper too many times to count. The older kids didn't own a video game, but the little guys are pros on our Wii. Our six and seven year olds can sing all the words to Guitar Hero and Rock Band songs; our older guys were only allowed to listen to the Christian or the classical station. We still don't watch network or cable TV, but we subscribe to Netflix, and we've been known to hit up a Redbox. We spend our weekends swimming in the river and fishing rather than providing non-stop educational moments at cultural events. As a family we now enjoy an Adam Sandler flick instead of a nature or travel film. I am no longer the uptight b*tch I used to be.

What's the perfect parenting technique? I've been a mom for twenty-six years, and I don't have a clue. I've seen the results of the ubermom days, and that produced some well-balanced, talented and successful adults but a stressed-out and unhappy mom. Now I'm the burnt-out-shell-geriatric mom who is simply ready to enjoy her children's fleeting childhoods. I'm having fun, but how will these late-in-life kids turn out? I wish I had the answers.

Spring

2009-04-07T18:57:00.002-05:00

You Are Kids Playing

You are a free spirited soul. More than anything else, you are often just happy to be alive.

You are always laid back and cheerful. You enjoy whatever happens to come your way

You are spontaneous and zany. You're the kind of adult who still runs through the sprinklers.

You don't take life too seriously. You try to have fun at all times, even when you're working.

What Part of Spring Are You?

Great Report!

2009-03-31T16:40:00.009-05:00

When we received the initial medical reports from Vietnam for Ephraim's referral, he had a diagnosis of retinopathy of prematurity (ROP), grade I, zone I. Ben called and spoke with the attending physician at Vandy when we reviewed his referral paperwork, and we were told that his diagnosis was impossible. Grade I was minor; zone I was major. The two couldn't go together. Zone I involved the focal point and generally went with a grade III to IV diagnosis. We really didn't know what we were facing. Either the zone was incorrect, and we had little to worry about, or the grade was incorrect, and we were facing something serious.

Today Ephraim FINALLY was able to see the pediatric opthalmologist at Vanderbilt. We were there for nearly four hours. Ephraim was so well behaved while he was poked and prodded, and he didn't even make a peep when he had to have his eyes dilated. We filled out tons of paperwork and told the doctor what we knew about his extent of prematurity, birth history and complications, and initial weight. At the end of the exam, the doctor told us that when he reviewed Ephraim's paperwork before the examination, he expected there would be a problem, and he conducted the exam expecting to find those problems. The doctor said Ephraim had the most perfect eyes he'd seen that day, and many of the other preemies he'd seen had weighed as much as two of Ephraim at birth! He figures Ephraim's original diagnosis should have been grade II, zone I ROP, but it has resolved completely.

A few weeks ago Ephraim had his hearing screen. Micro-preemies are also at an increased risk for hearing complications. Although his screen wasn't as positive, we do know that he has hearing in his left ear, and he passed the screen well enough so that he could qualify for speech therapy. He wasn't reacting on the right side when they used what looked like iPod ear buds, and he was flatlining on that side on the machines (I won't even begin to pretend to understand all the tests they performed), so another series of tests is going to be repeated in May. He had some fluid, so hopefully that was the culprit. Eprahim is beginning to imitate the sounds we are making, and he now has a pretty good repertoire of initial letter sounds and funny noises, so hopefully his hearing screen in April will be as positive as today's vision screen.

Ephraim's speech evaluation is scheduled for the last week of April. It's four hours long! Whew! We are BOTH going to be ready for a nap after that morning.

Fine and gross motor skills ... not. a. problem. That kid has talent! I only hope I can keep him safe while he expresses those climbing, jumping, running and general daredevil skills before he learns self preservation!

Temper, Temper

2009-03-21T16:36:00.009-05:00

When Ephraim gets mad, he has very small, ineffective temper tantrums. He goes behind the sofa in the playroom, squeezes himself between the sofa and the sofa table, and he lays very still and quiet. Occasionally, if he gets really worked up, he thumps the back of the sofa with his tiny feet. We have to listen hard to hear his furious thumpings. I'm sure I'm being a terrible mother by doing this, but I can't help but laugh at his miniature misbehavior. Our adult children are right. Ephraim gets away with murder. When the older kids acted up when they were little, they got in trouble; when Ephraim does it, it is cute. That's the difference between that ubermom of the 80's versus this old-and-tired mom of today who realizes just how quickly those childhood years zip past. I'm trying really hard to enjoy all of my little ones' antics -- even those of which the ubermom of my previous life would not have approved.

Today is Ben's and my twenty-eighth wedding anniversary. I feel so old! I know there are folks out there reading my blog who aren't even twenty-eight years old! We started dating our freshman year in college and married during spring break of our senior year. I was only twenty years old, and Ben had just turned twenty-one years old. We have been together more than half of our lives! I'm still totally in love with Ben and thank God for giving me such a perfect mate. Tonight we plan to stick the kids in front of a movie, eat a little steak and shrimp (prepared by Ben) and sip a little wine. I know that doesn't sound like an exciting date, but it's perfect for me. Ben offered to take me wherever I wanted to go, but I'd much rather eat his wonderful cooking and have a couple of hours of quiet time together than have to find a babysitter, drive forty-five minutes into town, wait and wait and wait for a table at a restaurant on a Saturday night, spend money on food that's not any better than Ben's, and finally come home late to overly-tired and overly-excited children who should have been in bed hours earlier.

The Temper Tantrum

Front View

Making Sure I'm Watching

Kicking the Back of the Sofa

The Little Sleeping Prince

2009-03-16T12:54:00.003-05:00

What can I say? I love it on those rare occasions when Ephraim snuggles with me and falls asleep.

Wii Wizard

2009-03-14T13:37:00.007-05:00

The kids got Wii Music for Christmas, and Ephraim loves it! His favorite instrument is the tambourine. Here he is "shaking his stuff". You can see how hard he's concentrating and how pleased he is with himself. He thinks he has to stand on the Wii Fit balance board whenever he plays.

Remodeling Project - Part Three

2009-03-04T20:48:00.004-06:00

The ugly lights we replaced.

We're almost through with the bathroom at the lake! We installed a new light, which is a 1000% improvement over the 1960's swag light we replaced. We also cleaned up and re-hung the bathtub/shower doors. I guess they are OK. I voted on hanging a shower curtain instead but was overruled. The shower door is more practical, I guess, since the kids are constantly in and out of the lake. I bought a new curtain for the window, but I can't figure out where in the world I've stored it. That's the problem with planning "honey do" projects months in advance. I'm sure it will turn up though. We also finished painting the kitchen table and chairs. What a chore that was!

Milestone

2009-03-01T18:48:00.009-06:00

Ephraim was nineteen months old on Friday. He joined our family at nine and a half months old, so that means he's now been a part of our family longer than he lived in Vietnam. I just can't believe Ephraim has been here for that long! It seems like the seven months we waited to travel after referral lasted forever, but it was just yesterday when we got back from Vietnam. Then again ... it feels like Ephraim has been a part of our family for a very long time. We are so lucky! God has blessed us with one very special little boy.

Spoiled Rotten

2009-02-28T17:30:00.007-06:00

We bought this hat in Vietnam because the hats we brought with us were too big on him. It's such a silly hat, but Ephraim's big sisters think it's the greatest.

You can see the scratches across his eyes. He does that to himself when he's tired and just getting ready to fall asleep. I try to distract him, but I can't stop the behavior. Any ideas out there from experienced Vietnam mamas?

This little guy is so spoiled, it's not funny. I thought that the "new" would wear off having a baby brother, but it hasn't in the least. They treat him like an amazing high-tech baby doll. They were the same way with Reid when she was first born, so I should have expected it. I think I'm going to be a grandma many times over with the twins.

Ephraim's favorite napping position.

The twins love to have him fall asleep on their shoulders because it's the only time he's still and will snuggle. They weren't telling me he'd fallen asleep because they didn't want to give him up. Now he's totally spoiled and thinks he can only nap while we're holding him.

A Handsome Pair

2009-02-26T15:49:00.005-06:00

Two of my favorite men in their jammies.

Fun At The Lake

2009-02-25T20:11:00.007-06:00

Although the weather has been pretty miserable, we've been having fun at the lake. We've been doing art and science projects since we're not exactly swimming and sunning on the weekends. So far we have made candles, beaded necklaces, painted ceramic jewelry, ribbon headbands, and paper flowers. We have found kits for making gummy bugs, crystals, a volcano and plastic flowers, so next time we have a free, yucky weekend we'll be junior scientists.

With Ephraim sitting in the papasan chair, you can see just how tiny he is. That's not an oversized chair. The little guy is still wearing six month clothes and will be nineteen months old this Friday. He may be small, but he is mighty!

Yoga Boy

2009-02-23T13:54:00.004-06:00

The girls rolled Ephraim up in my yoga mat just for fun, and he LOVED it! Now he's learned to unhook the velcro, roll the mat out, and grab someone to get him all rolled up. Ephraim also loves Riley to spin him around in the computer chair until he's walking like a drunken sailor. I guess he's figuring out good ways to deal with his sensory issues all on his own. Pretty brilliant, if I do say so myself!

Too Big For His Britches

2009-02-22T18:25:00.004-06:00

Whenever I call the kids to meals, Ephraim rushes in and sits down at the table with the other children. He gets really mad when I remove him from the table and put him in his highchair. He's decided he's just as big as the other kids, and he does everything possible to try to keep up with them.

Our Remodeling Project - Part Two

2009-02-21T15:50:00.010-06:00

Ephraim must have been bird watching!

Reid in her new playhouse.

We're back to remodeling our bathroom at the lake cabin. This weekend we stained and installed the vanity cabinet, installed the vanity top and faucet and assembled and installed the medicine cabinet. The medicine cabinet was a bugger! It came in a pretty small box and must have had about a million pieces. Since it was made in China, there were no written instructions, just drawings. That was a first for me! Things are coming along well. All we have left to do is to install the light fixture, towel bar and bathroom/shower doors and hang the curtains. One more weekend should do it.

We worked a bit more on painting our kitchen table and chairs too. It has been a SLOW process! The way it's going, it could be spring before we're through.

The kids had fun with all the packaging. Ephraim is actually sitting inside the faucet box in the picture above! Riley "drove" him all over the playroom in that box. The kids took the box for the vanity top and made that into a tiny playhouse. I didn't get a picture, but Ephraim spent hours sliding down the box that the medicine cabinet came in. It just had a slight slope, so I don't know why it was so much more interesting than the slide outside.

Michael J. Fox Meets Tommy Lee - AGAIN!

2009-02-19T12:32:00.007-06:00

My super conservative twenty-three-year-old son has gone and gotten himself another tattoo. This one is on the underside of his upper arm and on the opposite arm from his first tattoo. If you can't tell, you are looking at the f-hole of a cello with a Bible verse superimposed on it. The Bible verse is Isaiah 38:20 which says, "The Lord will save me, and we will sing with stringed instruments all the days of our lives in the temple of the Lord."

The tattoo took over three hours, and there are still a few tweaks the tattoo artist wants to do in a couple of weeks. Brad's arm just got too irritated, and the muscle starting twitching before he could finish. Apparently that part of the arm is a sensitive spot. Sounds fun, huh? Brad's girlfriend accompanied him and watched the whole thing. Patient girlfriend.

I just hope Brad doesn't get to be my age and regret these tattoos. If I had a tattoo on the underside of my arm, I think it would now be swaying and swinging in the breeze!

Digital Converter Deadline

2009-02-18T13:02:00.008-06:00

Last night at midnight was the originally deadline for getting a converter box, buying a new TV or hooking up to cable or satellite. We didn't do any of the above. The network channels chose to wait until sometime in June to convert to digital, but the "off-brand" channels went ahead with the switch.

Instead of subscribing to cable or satellite service, we decided to get an account with Netflix, and instead of buying the converter box, we decided to apply the money towards a Roku. If you haven't heard of Roku, it's a device where you can see the "watch instantly" choices from Netflix on your TV set. As long as you have a Netflix account and DSL, you can watch all you want for no additional charge. We got it as a gift for each other for Valentine's Day. Real romantic, huh? So far it's been a great gadget though. I figure that having to get on the computer, adding selections to our queue, hooking up the Roku, and waiting for the selection to download will cut down on our mindless TV watching. I used to cut down on TV watching by sticking our old TV in the closet during warm weather, but now we have this big, old fashioned console TV that weighs a ton. It would be a bit difficult to stuff in the closet! I'd love to throw the TV out entirely, but I think my family would disown me if I did.

Anyway ... we used to have seven channels and are now down to four. We now have ABC, NBC, CBS and PBS. We don't watch much TV, but this will definitely whittle down our options. Today I realized that I will lose my long-term addiction of Jeopardy! I have watched that show my entire life. I remember playing on the rug in our first house in Nashville and watching Jeopardy! with my mom while she ironed. Back then Art Fleming was the host and the game board was much less high tech.

I can't watch House or American Idol anymore, and Ben loses Andy Griffith. House isn't a great loss because I had to quit watching it when it moved to Mondays. Now it interferes with my yoga class. I could have started watching it on ABC.com but I didn't bother. I'd gradually been losing interest in the show anyway. I've only seen American Idol twice this season, so that's definitely not a major obsession. I'm going to have to find Andy Griffith for Ben online though. That's the only show he watches consistently. He's really up to current times, isn't he?

I still have Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice for now. I enjoy them because Ben doesn't get home from work until after 9:30 on Thursday nights, and so I take two hours of "me" time. I just find a kids' movie on the Roku for the little guys, then hang out in the sitting room for a little TV, a little wine ... aaahhh.

The only other network show we watch is Brothers and Sisters, but we watch it online since we got hooked on the show a couple of seasons in. By the time we catch up, we'll probably have lost our last four channels, so we might as well stick to watching it on my handy dandy MacBook.

Ironically we got a call from the Nielsen people yesterday saying we'd been chosen to be a Nielsen family. I told them we would be losing our reception that evening and they convinced me that all the channels were waiting to switch over. I said I'd do it. They then asked how many TV's we had. Stupidly I told them we had three, but I explained that only one had TV reception. One is only hooked up to the Wii and DVD player and the other is only hooked up to the computer. Now they are going to send us *three* diaries to fill out! I tried and tried to tell them we only needed one, but I might as well have been talking to a blank wall!

Twenty-Five Things About Me

2009-02-17T14:50:00.008-06:00

Poor little Ephraim has been a sick little boy for a couple of days now. His fever spikes in the evening, and he's been staying up and whining and fussing all night long. I haven't had the presence of mind to compose a blog because I am so sleep deprived. So ... I'll post a list about myself that I was asked to create for Facebook. It was HARD to come up with twenty-five unique things about myself! I guess I'm a pretty boring person.

1. I was adopted.

2. I have four children who were adopted.

3. My children were born on three different continents.

4. I belonged to the Auburn skydiving team in college.

5. My husband, Ben, and I met because I had the measles while in college. Because of an outbreak, all the infected students were placed in isolation in the infirmary, and I missed the last two weeks of class, including finals. I called Ben's mother, who is a math professor, to tutor me over Christmas break. The rest is history!

6. I am left handed.

7. I have twelve children.

8. I have home schooled since 1986.

9. My husband and I have been married more than half our lives. We met when we were 18 years old and married when we were 20 and 21.

10. I was named for my parents' high school principal. While growing up, I knew several boys named Stacey, but I didn't meet another girl until college.

11. Several of my grandparents' great-grandchildren are older than me.

12. My oldest daughter and I were pregnant at the same time.

13. My youngest son is 4 1/2 years younger than my granddaughter.

14. I was on the gymnastics and diving teams in junior and senior high school.

15. I am addicted to the show, "Brothers and Sisters".

16. I love to read and can't put a book down once I start it.

17. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up.

18. I have a bachelors' degree in business education and a minor in English.

19. I have traveled to five countries: Canada, Guatemala, Russia, Vietnam and Aruba.

20. I have never lived out of the south: Tennessee, Georgia and Alabama.

21. I love to bicycle and ride about 30 miles a week in good weather.

22. I go to yoga class twice a week.

23. We haven't had either cable or satellite for over ten years.

24. Once the TV signals convert to digital we won't have any TV reception. Yea!!

25. I have one child in graduate school and one who is too young for preschool.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

2009-02-12T19:01:00.007-06:00

Lauren over at The Long Journey Home said my blog was fabulous! That's my first award! Thank you, Lauren! I'm afraid I haven't been a very good blogger lately because my posts have been infrequent. Maybe this award will give me some encouragement to post more regularly because apparently I'm actually being read by more people than just my immediate family.

Now I’m supposed to pass this onto five other blogs that I know are fabulous. Boy, that is hard! I have a long list of blogs I love, so it's tough to narrow it down to just five. First off, I wish I could vote for Lauren because I LOVE to read her blog, but obviously hers has already been picked. There are also several other favorite "Vietnam baby mama" blogs I practically stalk, but they've already been nominated too. Fortunately there are still plenty of really great blogs I love forward to reading.

Here's my list of some really fabulous blogs:

1. Beth at Pharmommy. She's a fabulous blogger and an equally fabulous photographer. I love to see her gorgeous photos of her very photogenic son, Lucas, and I enjoy her blogs about politics, Lucas, work, her dogs and juggling it all. Beth doesn't live too far from me, and I am lucky to have met her in real life.

2. Mayme at McGowan Moments. Mayme and her crew live in the same small town as us, and we've known her and her husband, Bo, forever. In fact she used to babysit for our now adult children before she was ever married. Now she's a mom of three. Her newest, Emma, recently joined their family from China, and she's a real cutie!

3. Mary Kate at Why Yes, I AM Crazy. Thank You for Asking. Mary Kate is the mom of five. I always enjoy her interesting posts that vary from family life to Oprah to Weight Watchers to Facebook. I especially loved her post, "Yes, You Heard Me Correctly" about her lifestyle. I think we're kindred spirits.

4. Kim at Musing, Rambling and All Around Blathering. Kim is another mom of twelve. Not only that, but she has seven girls and five boys just like us. Her guys range in age from twenty-four to one. Our guys range in age from twenty-five to one, so could you get closer than that?

5. Beth at The Pan Clan. I am in awe of Beth. She and her husband are the parents of fifteen children and are in the process of adopting a sibling group of five. They will soon be the parents of twenty children under the age of twenty! Beth is a homeschool mama, and she lives in what looks like the coldest spot in the continental United States.

I also have to post five of my addictions, so here they are…

1. Our lake cabin. Our cabin was built in the 1960's and started out as a four-room house on an unfinished basement. It has managed to grow a bit larger with the addition of a glassed-in porch, a second bathroom and a large den in the basement. Still, even though it's nothing fancy, it's my favorite place to be. We spend nearly every Thursday night through Saturday night there no matter what the season. It is so peaceful, I feel my stress floating away by the time we turn the car off the interstate. There's no phone service, TV service or internet. There's nothing to do but remodeling projects, which Ben and I both love, and playing with the kids. It's the perfect spot for some great family time. In the summer we laze around our slough on floats, putt around in paddle boats and sea kayaks, fish and waterski around the main channel. In the fall we rake leaves and jump into the piles and roast marshmallows and weenies over a fire. In the spring we play in the yard and plant lots and lots of flowers. In the winter we do crafts and science projects -- making paper flowers, candles, jewelry, volcanoes, gummy bugs and growing crystals to name a few.

2. Books. I could read non-stop. Once I start a book I will stay up all night until I finish it. When we built our house, I had the cabinetmaker put floor-to-ceiling shelves on every wall in our library. Yes, we have a library and study instead of a living room and dining room. Priorities, ya know? Anyway, the shelves even go over the doors. The cabinetmaker laughed and said I'd never fill those shelves. Well, those shelves are filled, each of the children's bedrooms have a bookshelf, and I have to donate some books before I can empty yet another box of books currently residing in my bedroom closet.

3. Home schooling. I love seeing my children learn. I have love teaching them to read. I love reading their wonderfully creative essays with equally creative spelling. I love seeing the middle school kids move into independent learning and developing their own special interests. I love the challenge of teaching my high schoolers and the debates with my very opinionated teenagers. I love going on really cool field trips. I love the bonding moments that have happened because I've had the opportunity to spend long periods of time with the kids. When a teenager suddenly wants to bare his or her soul at midnight, I can stay up until dawn if necessary without worrying about how that child will function at school that day. Sometimes those mom-and-teen chats just have to take priority over a math lesson.

4. Bicycling. We live down the road from an amazing bike trail called, "Rails to Trails". It's a trail made from an old railroad bed and runs 4.5 miles on one side of our road and about 3.5 miles on the other side down to a campground. The trail is gorgeous, runs along the river and passes over it on scenic wooden bridges in four different places. Ben and I each have two-passenger bike trailers for the four little guys, and our older guys pedal under their own power. We try to bike the nine-mile round-trip path several times a week. Sometimes the whole crew goes, but sometimes it's just alone time for Ben and me.

5. My husband. He is the best husband and father in the world. He always puts the kids' and my wants over his own. He helps home school the kids, helps with the housework and does the lion's share of the cooking. He's a fabulous cook! Besides that he is a mechanic *and* a talented do-it-yourselfer around the house. And he doesn't watch sports on TV. How could anyone be more fabulous than that?

Tax Season - YUCK!

2009-02-04T14:29:00.006-06:00

Here is Ben sorting through some of our many receipts from the past year to give to our accountant. Ben is working hard on the taxes during a "play" weekend at the lake. Poor boy. We did our own taxes for years and years, but after becoming self employed eight years ago, we decided we needed an accountant who specialized in medical practices. I guess it's easier to have an accountant, but I'm not convinced. It seems like by the time we gather and sort all the paperwork and then come up all the totals, 90% of the work is completed.

The Weekend

2009-02-03T17:05:00.012-06:00

We had a great weekend! On Friday we spent the day at the Children's Science Museum. The kids had such a good time and still weren't ready to leave after 4 1/2 hours. The last time we went to the museum, Ephraim spent most of the day snoozing in his backpack, but today he was into everything. We even got a couple of words out of our mostly-silent boy because he got so excited. When he saw the robotic Tyrannosaurus rex, he got frightened, grabbed onto Ben's neck and yelled, "do, do, do" (no, no, no). Later though he would point to the dinosaur and say, "dat" (that). "Dat" is for something he especially loves, such as turning on and off the light switch. He also got excited about some mini-beach balls floating in the air over a blast of air. This time he waved his arms over his head and screamed, "dat, dat, dat". Everyone around us laughed at his excitement. He loved it when I would catch a ball, hand it to him, and then lift him up so he could drop the ball back into the stream of air.

That evening after supper we loaded up to check on our lake cabin. It is in an area of Kentucky badly hit by the winter storms this week. If you didn't hear about the storms, here's an article. Once we hit the Kentucky line, it looked like a tornado had touched down all along the sides of the road, and we had to creep for the last few streets, clearing limbs along the way. We got to the cabin about 8 o'clock and found we had no lights, which we expected, but we also found no damage. We had limbs down all over the yard the size of medium-sized trees, but as best as we could tell with our handy-dandy flashlight, there was no damage to our roof, our storage building, our boat, or our fence. What a blessing! We spent about 30 minutes walking around the yard and making sure there were no puddles inside the house, then we drove another 1 1/2 hours back home again. The kids were really disappointed that we weren't going to stay, but we just weren't up to camping in 20 degree weather. We do have a gas space heater in the finished basement, but we have an electric stove and didn't have food with us that didn't require cooking. Ben wasn't too excited about getting up the next morning and facing temperatures in the teens while he prepared breakfast over a campfire!

Snow, Snow, Snow

2009-01-29T23:02:00.003-06:00

This has been a short work week! Ben came home from work on Tuesday about three hours early because we had freezing rain. The ice was beautiful on the tree branches, but it sure messed up some trees. Wednesday morning we had snow, and Ben couldn't get out of the driveway for work. It thawed out a bit later in the day, but by that time, he had already rescheduled all his patients, and he figured very few people would get out in the bad weather to come see him anyway.

We got school done quickly both days with Ben home to help. The kids think it's very unfair that they don't get snow days when the public schools are out. As a compromise and since we knew the storm was coming, we had planned ahead and bought yummy food, a couple of craft kits, and picked up two family-friendly movies from Redbox. The kids had a blast! We spent the afternoons and evenings playing in the hot tub, making jewelry and watching movies.

Today Ben got slammed at work and didn't get home until after 10 pm. We also got word that the storm had hit much harder up by our lake cabin, so tomorrow morning we are heading up there to make sure we don't have any damage. Please wish us luck. Our old shingle roof was replaced just last spring with a tin roof, and we sure don't need any more roof repairs!

Return to School

2009-01-27T19:00:00.010-06:00

This picture of Sasha, Bailey, Barrett and Keaton was taken the day Sasha returned to school for spring semester. Last semester Sasha went to a new school. It had small classrooms - around six to eight kids to a class. It was not, however, a tutorial school, and they expected the kids to work in class and on homework independently. We thought he was ready for a bit more independence, but he wasn't. He's headed back this semester to his old school. At his old school, the classes average a one-to-three ratio in class but work one-on-one on outside assignments. There's no way he can continue to skip his assignments or his homework now. This school is specifically for children with learning differences - primarily dyslexia and ADD. Sasha doesn't have dyslexia, but the poor educational environment during his first eleven years in Russia has made such a mark on him, he's convinced he's a poor student, and there's no reason to even try. His teachers ingrained in him that he was both lazy and dumb, and it's been a b*tch convincing him that he's certainly not dumb and lazy can be overcome. Boy, I wish I could get ahold of those teachers and show them what damage they do to these young lives! Boy, I wish I could just get ahold of those teachers ...

More Favorite Pictures

2009-01-25T17:40:00.008-06:00

Jensen

Micah and Aunt Barrett

Keaton, Micah, Barrett and Reid

Reid, Keaton, Barrett and Micah

The three aunts with their niece again.

Keaton and Barrett

The twins being goofy again.

Reid

Barrett, after Brooke used the hair straightener on her.

Barrett again

Barrett and Keaton from behind!

Ephraim looks like he's a busy executive with his phone and newspaper.

The Little Guys and Me

2009-01-22T14:33:00.007-06:00

Brooke took these pictures over the Christmas holidays. I've tried to make a point of posting photos of me lately since I've had requests from folks to see what I look like, but since I'm rarely in a picture because I'm the photographer, I thought I would devote an entire post to the rare, elusive Stacey. The group pictures include the youngest four children and our granddaughter.

Our Oldest Daughter, Brooke, and Her Daughter, Micah

2009-01-20T17:59:00.004-06:00

Enjoying the Day After Christmas with Family and New Toys

2009-01-18T15:19:00.006-06:00

My mom gave the little kids Rock Band for Christmas, but they've had a hard time getting to play because the adults keep hogging it.

Ben and Brooke enjoying the new hot tub.

The little guys in a rare, calm mood in the hot tub.

Micah and Barrett loving on Elizabeth, the cat who adopted us over the holidays. Lizzie is a male cat, by the way.

Ephraim loves the Wii.

Sacked out in the middle of our bed after a long, busy day.

My Sons

2009-01-17T21:59:00.003-06:00

Our oldest son, Bradford, age 23, with our youngest son, Ephraim, age 16 months.

Christmas Post - Finally

2009-01-15T17:13:00.020-06:00

Christmas was a blast! We had seventeen people at our house -- Ben and me, eleven of the twelve children, my 85-year-old mom and two of our daughters' boyfriends. In fact, one of the boyfriends belongs to our missing daughter, Logan, who is a foreign exchange student in Germany this year, so she was represented in proxy. I could write more about Christmas, but since a picture says a thousand words, I've posted enough pictures to equal nearly 50,000 words. I'll let them do the talking.

Our long row of stockings.

What a pile of presents! We attempted to keep Christmas low key by purchasing one large family gift and limiting our purchases to a couple of small presents for each child. The kids, however, had different ideas. By the time every child bought a gift for each of his or her other siblings, the pile under our tree was colossal!!

Jensen was pretty excited about Christmas.

Christmas morning came a bit early for Bradford.

Christmas morning came WAY too early for Griffin!

Griffin was functioning, but just barely.

Reid loved the new blankie I knitted for her. I originally started knitting it for Ephraim long before we ever traveled to Vietnam eight months ago, but it took me so long to knit it, Ephraim had another favorite by the time it was finished. While I knitted, Reid would sit in my lap, rub on the blankie, and suck her thumb, so I knew she'd love it for herself.

Logan's boyfriend, Steven.

Did Christmas come earlier than Brad could handle?

Brooke. Notice the bow on Ephraim's head. He was much more interested in the bows than opening presents.

Bailey's boyfriend, Thomas, sharing a funny moment with Brooke.

Bailey and Reid sharing a special thumb-sucking and blankie-hugging moment.

Princess Reid.

As I said, Ephraim was interested in the bows. Our granddaughter, Micah, however, was definitely more interested in opening the presents.

What's in the purse, Bailey?

Ephraim!

Griffin and Steven.

Nonny received one of the baskets that Jensen, Barrett, Keaton, Reid, Bailey, Thomas, Ben and I all made for grandparents, aunts and uncles.

I won't admit whose big rear that bow is attached to.

The warlock, Steven.

Riley.

It looks like Nonny is ready to party!

Ben, the warlock. We gave Micah a pile of dress-up clothes for Christmas, and I think everyone ended up wearing something from the pile before the day was over.

We gave Nonny a Wii for Christmas last year and Dance, Dance, Revolution for her 85th birthday. She plays with them quite a lot, so hopefully she'll enjoy Wii Fit also.

A rare picture of me.

Is Ben a witch doctor? Bad pun, huh? I gave Ben several new lab coats for Christmas. His old ones were so worn out they were disgraceful!

It looks like Ephraim is opening the present, but actually he's just ripping off the bow.

The grandly-decorated Brooke and Witch Reid.

Thomas and Bailey sharing a private moment amongst the crowd and chaos.

Ben.

Micah.

Keaton.

An "excited" Thomas.

Nonny is going to be partying on wine; I'm going to be revved up on coffee.

Bailey and Ephraim.

Sasha and Pirate Steven.

An excited Sasha. Sasha loves to build anything and everything, so Bailey and Thomas gave him his own power tool set.

Barrett wearing her new scarf.

Brooke and me.

Has Nonny already been nipping?

The girls were PRETTY excited about our large family gift!

Micah and Jensen.

Riley and Sasha chillin' in the new hot tub.

SO Far Behind on Blogging

2009-01-13T21:06:00.003-06:00

I have been so bad about blogging the past month, but I'm determined to catch up. Today I got two different email messages from folks on Facebook wanting me to post pictures from the Christmas holidays. There's no hope there. I haven't posted pictures on Facebook for nearly a year, and the idea of catching up there is totally overwhelming. I'm determined to blog each day though until I catch up. I did try for over an hour yesterday to post a video from my camera, but I wasn't successful. That was frustrating!

Here's today's pictures. They are from December 20th. Ben's mom and stepdad came bearing gifts, and the kids had Christmas #2. We had a great visit and again ate way too much.

Ephraim's First Haircut

2008-12-31T11:25:00.003-06:00

Ephraim got his first haircut yesterday. Brooke picked out the faux hawk and thought I wouldn't go through with it, but I did. I'm always a bit sad after that first haircut because my baby boys look so grown up afterwards. I had asked the beautician to not cut too much hair because I wanted him to keep some of his baby look for a little longer, but after she swished through the side of his hair with the clippers, it was too late to look back. Brooke went in Wal*Mart afterwards, bought some hair putty, and showed me how to use it. I can't believe I'm stylin' my baby boy's hair!

One Cool Dude

2008-12-29T12:37:00.004-06:00

I haven't had the opportunity to post pictures from Christmas since we still have family members visiting, but I hope to get them posted shortly after the first of the year. I'm taking Ephraim for his first haircut this afternoon, so if he cooperates and I remember to take my camera, I should have those pictures to post also.

Yummy!

2008-12-22T23:49:00.003-06:00

We ate at our favorite Vietnamese restaurant this week while we were in the city buying fresh produce at our favorite international market. Yum!

Another Graduate!

2008-12-21T18:52:00.010-06:00

Last weekend our oldest son, Bradford, graduated from college with a bachelors' degree in Industrial Engineering. We are so proud of him! His university, Georgia Institute of Technology, has had the #1 ranked program in the country in Industrial Engineering for nearly 20 years straight. It is a tough program! Brad has had to work extremely hard and has been under a great deal of stress for the past 4 1/2 years. He has fallen in love with Atlanta and hopes to stay nearby. He is not sure yet what his career will be, but he wants to work in the music field in some capacity. He is an accomplished cellist, and his main love is music.

It is weird to think that we now have two children who are through college and are on their own. If we were the typical family of four, we would now be empty nesters. To me that is a lonely thought. I love being an old mom. It doesn't even scare me (much) to know we will be well past 65 and eligible to retire and to draw social security before our youngest is even old enough to be through high school. Wow!!

We do have one goal that may be difficult but hopefully not impossible to reach one day because we are geriatric parents of young children. We have talked for years about doing something in medical missions such as the Peace Corps or Doctors without Borders. Ben and I will be at least 70 years old by the time Ephraim is old enough to be through college. I remember Miss Lilly, the mother of former President Carter, serving in the Peace Corps when she was no spring chicken. Hopefully we'll still be needed in some medical mission field when we are also septuagenarians.

Earth to Wal*Mart Associate

2008-12-18T17:04:00.010-06:00

As usual I was stopped by a random stranger at Wal*Mart this week and questioned about Ephraim.

First I was asked if I was totally surprised when "they gave us a boy since everyone always gets girls". That question I was prepared for because I have been asked that quite a few times. I explained that Ephraim was actually Vietnamese, not Chinese, and the wait for a little boy was actually not as long in Vietnam as was the wait for a little girl.

Next, the clerk asked me if Ephraim was his Vietnamese name. I've been asked that question several times too, so I gave my pat answer that Ephraim is an Old Testament name, and the name is significant to us because Ephraim, the youngest son of Joseph, was given the double blessing by his grandfather, Jacob, the patriarch of the twelve tribes of Israel.

Finally, I was asked Ephraim's age and whether or not he was talking yet. When I said he wasn't yet speaking, I was assured that he should start talking soon, and once he learned English he'd then know two languages. I nodded and kept on moving without really taking the time to think about her statement. A few minutes later it struck me. This lady was assuring me that when Ephraim began speaking, it would be in *Vietnamese*, and he could learn English when he was older. Huh?!?

Cheese Face

2008-12-16T16:32:00.007-06:00

My camera has a red-eye reduction on it and shoots a quick flash just before snapping the picture. Ephraim has started to look toward the camera and give me a big smile when he sees that flash. Some of his smiles are genuine, but most are silly. I'm so glad to see all these goofy smiles. It hasn't been too many months ago that we weren't able to get a smile out of him at all. If we could just put an end to his hair pulling and scary-hard eyelid pinching and pulling when he's falling asleep, I would be a happy camper.

By the way, I'm sure everyone has noticed that the front of Ephraim's shirts are just saturated in many of the pictures. That boy is drooling like a faucet! I have to change his shirt every couple of hours. I have never had a kid who can drool like him! We can feel the tips of four molars coming in all at the same time, so I'm sure that must be the cause. I've attempted to keep bibs on him to keep him from being wet and cold, but he'll have nothing to do with them. When I put on a bib, he yells, yanks and manages to get it off within seconds.

Our First of MANY Christmas Celebrations

2008-12-15T17:34:00.011-06:00

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I'm afraid I'm very behind on blogging, so be on the lookout for multiple posts per day over the next day or two.

On December 6th we had our first Christmas celebration. Ben's dad, Richard, and stepmom, Gladys, spent the weekend with us. Richard grows a killer garden and Gladys is an awesome cook, so we were thrilled that they brought an entire Christmas dinner with them. That was the best present of all! At least it was for me. The kids and grandparents had a great time visiting, we ate way too much, and we spent the evening opening presents. It felt like Christmas was already here!

The kids all hammed it up. All the little ones wanted a picture made with *each* present, so I would have to take one picture with a box of crayons, another with a coloring book, and a third with the crayons and coloring book together, on and on and on. Ephraim hammed it up more than anyone else. He got a book that makes noise when you push buttons and a stuffed creature that yells when you push his button. He thought they both were hilarious! He laughed and laughed more than he ever has before. It's so nice when a gift is a hit with the kids and they show genuine excitement!

Ben's mom is coming up on the 20th for the weekend, so we'll have our second Christmas celebration at that time. Three of our grown kids and my mom are going to be able to be here on Christmas Day, so that's our third and main celebration. In fact, my mom is going to spend ten days with us this year, which is the longest time she's ever stayed with us. She's 85 years old, and I'm an only child, so I hope she's up to the noise and chaos! Brooke, our oldest daughter, is an NICU nurse and has to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so we'll be having Christmas #4 with her family on either December 30th or 31st. Whew! By the time 2009 arrives, Ben and I are going to be exhausted!

The Baskets are Ready!

2008-12-08T15:54:00.005-06:00

We have finally finished our Christmas baskets! We made a dozen baskets for grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends and neighbors. They were truly a cooperative effort! Bailey made the oatmeal cookie mix and banana nut bread. All the younger children helped with the candles, the Russian tea, the granola and the salsa. They decorated the baskets with bows, candy canes and tinsel, and they put the cloth caps on all the jars. I didn't remember to take a picture of the final results, but I did get some photos of the baskets still in process.

Cute Pictures

2008-12-07T22:25:00.003-06:00

These pictures were taken by our eleven-year-old daughter, Jensen. Didn't she do a good job?

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

2008-12-05T21:49:00.001-06:00

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Very Brady Christmas

For you, it's all about sharing times with family.

Even if you all get a bit cheesy at times.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

Thanksgiving

2008-12-04T18:48:00.010-06:00

Whew! It's been hectic.

Bradford and Griffin were both able to come home for Thanksgiving, which was special. Neither one is able to come home very often. In fact, Griffin hasn't been home since he began college last August. Griffin's school is about seven hours from home, and his car is less than reliable. In fact, he had trouble coming home last weekend because he had to replace a burned-out headlight and get a part to fix his heater once he got down the road a few hours, and it became dark and cold outside. While he was at WalMart buying the parts, he left his keys in the car and had to call a locksmith. Needless to say, those little repairs slowed him down by several hours and didn't help his mood. I think Brad has been home only once since the start of this semester. He's just five hours away in Atlanta, but he works at a church every weekend, so that makes visits nearly impossible. Brooke, Logan and Sasha couldn't come home, but we did have nine of the twelve with us. I guess that's pretty good odds with our children getting older.

Bailey, our 20-year-old daughter, decided she would cook the entire Thanksgiving for twelve people all by herself. She did an amazing job, and she didn't cut any corners. She used all fresh ingredients. No boxes or cans! She cooked turkey, glazed ham (which she glazed herself), duck, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole (snapped the beans herself), squash casserole, deviled eggs, yeast rolls, lemon meringue pie, sweet potato pie, pecan pie and cherry pie made from fresh cherries. She even made the whipped cream from scratch. That girl needs to be a professional chef!

Thanksgiving evening we pulled out all the decorations and put up the tree. This has to be the earliest we've decorated for Christmas. We made the mistake of mentioning it though, and the little girls bugged us to death until we complied.

By 2:00 am Friday morning, Ephraim was awake and crying with a 103 degree fever. We spent the rest of the night cooling him off and trying to encourage him to go back to sleep. During the day of Friday he seemed to be fine, although pretty grouchy, but again in the wee hours of Saturday morning he woke up again. This time his fever was over 105 degrees. We stayed up the rest of the night giving him cool baths and alternating the Motrin and Tylenol. Again on Saturday he seemed to be doing better, but he repeated the last two nights' performance spiking again at 105 degrees in the early hours of Sunday.

On Thanksgiving Day, we had received calls from all our relatives and booked all our weekends from Thanksgiving through New Years for our multiple Christmas celebrations. Next weekend Ben's dad is coming, the following weekend we go to Atlanta for Brad's graduation, the third Saturday Ben's mom comes for Christmas, and that Sunday my mom comes for a nine-day visit. With Ephraim's fever, we just knew he had the flu and figured it was time to start canceling our weekend plans. By the time the flu ran through our entire tribe, we figured we would be into 2009.

Sunday morning Ephraim woke up much happier but COVERED with spots. He had roseola! That was a relief because all the rest of the kids have already had it, so we no longer had a month of sick kids to look forward to.

Yesterday started out with a bang. Until Thanksgiving Day we didn't know Ben's dad was coming for Christmas so soon, so we were suddenly in a rush to finish our Christmas presents. This year we are making baskets filled with homemade gifts made by all of us, and we'll be sending baskets back to Birmingham next weekend for all of Ben's brothers and aunts and uncles too. All day yesterday, most of last night and all day today we've been baking, baking, baking. We're finishing up the baskets tonight, which I must say look pretty nice. I'm so proud of the job all the kids did. Tommorrow we're going to frantically clean the house for Saturday's guests, and I'm going to try to do my best to take the first of the kids to Goodwill so they can begin buying presents for each other. They are so excited! It's good to see them more excited about what they are giving to their siblings than what they can get, get, get.

Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else?

2008-11-30T19:04:00.001-06:00

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Jackie!

You are a Jackie. "I do everything the right way."

Jackies are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals.

How to Get Along with Me

* Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.

* Acknowledge my achievements.

* I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.

* Tell me that you value my advice.

* Be fair and considerate, as I am.

* Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive.

* Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

What I Like About Being a Jackie

* Being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal

* Working hard to make the world a better place

* Having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself

* Being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do

* Being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions

* Being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people

What's Hard About Being a Jackie

* Being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met

* Feeling burdened by too much responsibility

* Thinking that what I do is never good enough

* Not being appreciated for what I do for people

* Being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am

* Obsessing about what I did or what I should do

* Being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously

Jackies as Children Often

* Criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others

* Refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect

* Focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers

* Are very responsible; may assume the role of parent

* Hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry")

Jackies as Parents

* Teach their children responsibility and strong moral values

* Are consistent and fair

* Discipline firmly

Tagged

2008-11-27T15:02:00.011-06:00

Thanks Katherine for tagging me. I'm supposed to post the fourth picture in my fourth folder on my computer. This is a picture of our eighteen-year-old son, Griffin, fresh out of the shower, leaving for his first year of college at Wake Forest University in North Carolina.

Now to tag four others ... Lauren, Alison, Beth and Kim.

I Can Read With My Eyes Shut

2008-11-25T15:48:00.005-06:00

Reid trying to keep one eye wide open and the other shut just like The Cat in the Hat in the book, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut

Getting In Shape

2008-11-24T18:09:00.007-06:00

Ben and I both need to start an exercise program. During nice weather we've been riding our bikes on Rails To Trails, a nine-mile-long gorgeous path along an old railroad bed that runs along and over the Cumberland River. Ben and I both have two-person trailers that fit behind our bikes, so we pull the little guys (and burn extra calories), and the older kids ride their own bikes. Trouble is now it's just too cold and yucky outside.

I called about yoga classes and planned to start tonight, but I bummed out. They are taught at our church which is thirty minutes from home, and the yoga classes meet on the two evening a week that Ben is home early. I really hate to plan an outside activity on those nights.

So ... Plan B is our Wii Fit. Ben has had several patients tell him recently that they were able to lose a significant amount of weight playing on their Fit, so we're going to give it a go. Here's our first attempt at our new "serious" exercise regimen.

What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?

2008-11-23T12:25:00.000-06:00

You Are Mashed Potatoes

Ordinary, comforting, and more than a little predictable

You're the glue that holds everyone together.

What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?

Hardware Upgrade

2008-11-22T17:24:00.002-06:00

Not computers, but teeth. Jensen and Riley both got braces on Friday. We had a couple of kids with sore mouths eating soup broth and drinking milkshakes last night.

Toasty Toes

2008-11-18T15:10:00.006-06:00

I came home to a wonderful surprise! Ben installed the ventless gas logs in the playroom while I was away for the weekend. Now we simply turn a knob to get a roaring fire. Since we don't have to open the flue now, the room is no longer freezing cold the morning after we have a fire. Already we use the room so much more often! All I have left is to hang some drapes and a couple of pictures, and another room is complete.

Rejuvenation Station

2008-11-17T19:23:00.007-06:00

I am recharged! The five of us "girls" drank coffee on the front porch and talked, hiked and talked, went out to eat at the marina and talked, watched chick flicks and talked, drank wine and talked, snacked and talked, sat by the fire and talked, talked and talked. One of the women works for the Corps of Engineers, so she was able to rent a very private cabin in the woods that is only available to employees. It was wonderful! All of us have older children who were adopted from Russia when they were between nine and thirteen years old. It was such a blessing to be able to freely talk to other mothers who have dealt with the same joys and struggles of adopting school-age children. It was also so nice to find out that I wasn't alone with so many of my child's issues. I think I returned home as a new-and-improved mom.

Moms-Only Weekend

2008-11-13T20:44:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow I am going on a moms-only weekend. I am so excited! A group of us who adopted school-aged children from Russia through Operation Hope in 2004 and 2005 are going on a retreat. No kids, no husbands, and no responsibilities! I am taking four bottles of wine, fruit and cheese. One mom is bringing champagne and chili, another mom is bringing veggies, salsa, and a cheese ball, and a third is bringing veggie dip, a fondue pot and chocolate. A fourth is bringing gourmet coffee, creamer and a breakfast casserole. We are going to pig out, sit by the fire until 3 am, do a bit of hiking outside our cabin in the woods, and do lots and lots of talking. Middle aged moms -- it's party time!!

More Pictures

2008-11-12T22:00:00.007-06:00

Why are big sisters' things more fun? He loves pushing around that stroller!

A rare smile

Lil' Eminem

Shoebox Greetings

2008-11-11T22:36:00.002-06:00

Yep, that's a shoebox Ephraim is sitting in. At 15 1/2 months old, he's a real bruiser, huh?

Princess Ephraim

2008-11-11T16:21:00.003-06:00

These are the pictures we threaten to reveal to Ephraim's first girlfriend! I've got to find him some gender appropriate dress-up clothes! And no, Ephraim didn't get a haircut. For some reason, his hair just decided to lay down.

The Weekend

2008-11-10T10:15:00.007-06:00

This weekend we went to the lake and finished grouting the bathroom. It looks good and wasn't as hard as we imagined. We just have to wait for it to set up, and all that is left is to mop off the dusty film. Then we can install the new toilet and sink and have a working toilet on the main floor again! It will be so nice to not have to run down to the basement.

Other than that, we had a nice, laid-back weekend. We got to the lake late on Friday because we had to hang around town to take Riley to a Boy Scout advancement camp out. Saturday morning, we finished the grouting while the girls played outside making leaf forts, then we drove over to Hopkinsville to buy some groceries, rent a family movie and pick up some Little Caesar's pizza. That evening we had a bonfire, burned up some downed limbs and leaves and roasted marshmallows. Then all the girls got on their pajamas, and we settled down to a movie.

At home we've been working on getting the kids' playroom more comfy and baby friendly. So far I found a great suede and leather sofa at Salvation Army and a bright red lounge chair and tweed rug on Craigslist. I talked Ben into getting ceramic logs for the fireplace since we never get around to hauling wood up the stairs. We bought some ventless logs, so we can just flip a switch and not have to open the flue, knowing we'd be facing a cold, drafty room the next morning. We still have to install the logs, hang some pictures and drapes, refinish the coffee table, and get another lounge chair or love seat, and we'll be set for a chilly winter! Last night Bailey, Thomas, Ben and I watched a movie in the playroom, and the room already felt warmer with the new sofa and rug.

He Walks!

2008-11-09T16:24:00.003-06:00

Cute Pictures

2008-11-07T16:44:00.008-06:00

Ephraim doesn't usually take his naps on the floor! He was happily playing and suddenly he was asleep.

The girls were having a puppet show. After they quit Ephraim decided to have a puppet show of his own. He's turned into such a copycat!

Ephraim had two milestones today. He's been taking a few steps, but today things just really clicked. He can walk the length of the room now, looking like either Frankenstein's monster or a drunken sailor. Also, he's been waving a little and saying, "bye bye" when we prompted him (a lot), but today he did it for the first time on his own. We went to the store this morning to buy a rug for the playroom, and when we were leaving Ephraim said, "bye bye" very clearly without being asked.

Science Lesson

2008-11-06T10:07:00.007-06:00

This was the coolest praying mantis ever! I don't think I've seen one this big before, and I swear it was tame! The kids all sat in a circle, and I set the praying mantis down in the middle of the circle onto the floor. Instead of trying to run away, it would hop over to one of the kids and climb into his or her hand. It climbed all over all the kids and touched their hair and faces with its amazing, little hands. Riley stood in the circle instead of sitting down, so the praying mantis hopped over to Riley, climbed his pants leg, went up his shirt, and sat on his shoulder rubbing on Riley's long hair. It was just amazing to watch! The twins are usually cautious around animals and creatures of all sorts, but this guy (actually probably a girl) was so friendly, they warmed right up to it. Ephraim was fascinated, although I didn't let him touch it. I was afraid he might love on it just a bit too hard. I had a hard time getting pictures of it because each time I would squat down to take a picture, it would run towards me, and once it saw the flash, it wanted to investigate the camera. The kids all played with it for over an hour before we took it back outside, and not once during that time did the mantis ever try to run away!

BUSY Halloween weekend

2008-11-03T16:30:00.011-06:00

Whew! What a busy few days! To start the long holiday weekend off, the girls went to a Halloween party at the library during their regular story hour and craft time. On Halloween evening they went to the trunk-or-treat and carnival at the church just down the road from us. We go every year, and the kids always enjoy it. They have carnival games, hayrides, hot dogs, and Go Jump equipment. Saturday during the day, the kids went to a carnival sponsored by the fire department. They had Go Jump equipment, face painting, clowns making balloon animals, hot dogs and drinks, and the kids got to tour a fire truck and ambulance. That evening Bailey and Thomas went into Nashville to watch (and participate in) The Rocky Horror Picture Show. That was Bailey's first experience, but she read up ahead of time and was prepared with hot dogs, rice, newspaper, toilet paper, and the rest of the props. It's been almost 30 years since Ben and I saw Rocky Horror while we were in college!

Sunday was Reid's birthday. It's still amazing to me that she's such a grown-up, little lady after starting out as a 2 pound, 15 ouncer six years ago. Bailey and Thomas took the crew to Chucky Cheese's while Ben and I wrapped presents, made a cake and chili for her birthday party. We were just not up to Chucky Cheese's after three Halloween parties in as many days. Her party was just immediate family, but I think she had fun. When your birthday is just two days after Halloween, it's easy to get cheated, I guess!

When we were in Birmingham for Ben's high school reunion, Brooke and I hit the jackpot at Goodwill and found a pile of great costumes for $5.00 each. I stocked up because I thought they would make great dress-up clothes. As you can tell from the pictures, some of the kids found a favorite costume and stuck with it for all the parties. Others couldn't make up their minds and dressed up as a different character each time. For everyone who thought Ephraim's ladybug costume was too girly, you'll be glad to know that he trick-or-treated as a dragon instead. And in case you can't figure out the older kids' costumes, Riley was a mad scientist, Jensen was a rock star fairy and Thomas was a brown crayon.

Wonderful Autumn Weekend

2008-10-29T16:05:00.010-05:00

This past weekend we went up to the lake from Thursday night through Sunday night. The weather was chilly but fabulous! We probably won't get to go too many times now before winter sets in, so this may have been one of our final getaways before next spring.

We worked part of the weekend remodeling the upstairs bathroom which was circa 1960's. Over the past few weeks we have ripped off the old mirror, repaired walls, re-painted, removed the glass shower doors, and used a fiberglass spray paint to paint over the old pinkish-brown bathtub. We'd never tried spray painting bathtubs before and were nervous about the results, but I think it turned out pretty well! This weekend we removed the old carpet and tried our hands at tiling. We've never tiled before, so we'll see how that goes. Ben cut the tiles with his new wet saw and spread the goo, and I laid the tiles and placed the spacers. Next time we go up we'll grout. After that, we have to hang a new medicine cabinet, paint the trim, re-hang the shower doors, hang the window curtain, install a new toilet, sink cabinet and top, remove the old light fixture and hang the new one. Whew! Maybe we'll be finished and ready to start on the basement and replacing our old rickety deck by sometime mid-summer.

I posted a bunch of pictures of Riley because I got so many good ones this time. He takes after me by not being very photogenic. These all turned out to be rare, relaxed poses. You can see just how tiny Ephraim is in the picture of Riley giving him a bottle. Ephraim is now 15 months old and Riley is 13 years old.

The kids got to spend the whole weekend playing hide-and-seek, playing in their tree house and jumping in piles of leaves. It looks like we had them busy raking leaves for us, but actually they were just raking so that they could turn right around and jump in the piles or hurl them at each other.

Happy Birthday, Brooke!

2008-10-23T18:31:00.003-05:00

Today is our oldest child's birthday. I was twenty-three years old when she was born; two years younger than she is now. She has been a part of more than half of my life. I know that's an obvious statement but something that just struck me today. We had some turbulent times during those infamous teen years, but now we rarely go a day without talking on the phone or emailing each other.

Brooke, I love you. I am so lucky to be your mom. Thank you for being an amazing daughter and one of my best friends.

Those Fall Temperatures are Falling

2008-10-22T15:21:00.007-05:00

Here in Tennessee we're expecting lows down in the lower 30's this weekend, and I'm getting ready. We tried to fire up our gas fireplace last night, and it's not working. We've GOT to find someone to fix it! I can't make it without my fireplace! I'm not a wintertime person.

Rock On!!

2008-10-21T20:20:00.005-05:00

The Joys (and Pitfalls) of a Large Family

2008-10-20T22:12:00.006-05:00

Unfortunately, while I'm busy mothering twelve children, home schooling five of them, and helping my husband out with the business aspects of his medical practice, the day gets away from me, and by evening I realize that I didn't get to give Ephraim many of his bottles, play with him as much as I would have liked, or always snuggle him to sleep and read him a bedtime story. I may be missing out, but Ephraim certainly isn't. Even after five months the new hasn't worn off, and the girls still argue about who gets to pick out his clothes and dress him, give him bottles, push him in his stroller, and play with him. If I find myself tied up on the telephone or helping Bailey out with the insurance claims when bedtime rolls around, I usually find one of the little girls snuggled up with him and reading him a story. Ephraim seems to enjoy the books, and the girls love to practice their new kindergarten and first-grade reading skills.

Putting 'Em to Work

2008-10-18T15:21:00.004-05:00

Here we've got Ephraim doing the laundry! He loves to yank all the clothes out of the dryer while I'm trying to empty it. It has certainly made me speed up so that all the laundry doesn't end up in a heap on the floor. He's seen us do so much laundry that he gives each piece a good shake before throwing it down and pulling out the next one! I shake each piece before hanging it up so that I can skip ironing.

Some of Ephraim's "housecleaning" has been hazardous! Ben was cleaning our bathroom this morning, so he put Ephraim in the shower where he thought he'd be safe while Ben scrubbed the bathtub. Within just a couple of minutes Ben heard blood-curdling screams! Ephraim had managed to get his finger stuck in one of the tiny holes in the shower drain. Ben got it unstuck without too much trauma. I doubt though that the experience taught Ephraim to quit sticking his finger in every hole he can find. That seems to be his favorite pastime.

I posted the pictures of Ephraim in his overalls just because I thought he was so cute and looks so grown up all of a sudden. I'm afraid I'm not going to have a baby for very much longer. He's eating finger foods better and rarely finishes his bottles now. He's also taking three or four steps at a time, so I don't think he'll be crawling much longer. I bought him his first pair of tennis shoes this week. They are bright red New Balance track shoes in a size three. He's still so tiny!

What Do You Think?

2008-10-08T14:28:00.005-05:00

Our oldest daughter, Brooke, is convinced Ephraim will be permanently scarred if he wears this ladybug costume for Halloween. She thinks the costume is only acceptable for a girl even though it was shown for a little boy on the Old Navy website. What do you think? Can Ephraim be a gentlemanbug without having his psyche damaged?

Online Surveys & Market Research

Listen to your Mama!

2008-10-08T12:22:00.007-05:00

Boys and girls, this is the reason Mama says to not jump on the bed when you are supposed to be tucked in and sleeping.

Significance of the Tattoo

2008-10-07T16:27:00.012-05:00

I've had several people ask me what Brad's tattoo is. It's the top part of a cello -- the box, pegs and scroll. I didn't think to mention that, and apparently I made quite a few people curious.

As a little background, the oldest four children all play the cello. They began lessons around the age of three or four years old, and they have been heavily involved ever since. They spent several days a week at Vanderbilt in private lessons, quartet practices, orchestra and theory classes. Two of the kids were principal cellists in the Nashville Youth Orchestra, and they have all won numerous competitions. They have attended summer music camps all over the country and one of them has performed in Germany.

Although Brad is a senior at The Georgia Institute of Technology in Industrial Engineering, he's still very involved in music. He's been in a band called, "The Taxi", with three other Georgia Tech students for several years now and is on the music team at a mega church in Atlanta. Their band has won several "Battles of the Bands", has played warm up for some big-name performers and has had air time on a couple of radio stations. Even though Brad is still in college, he was asked to join Georgia Tech's music faculty, and he is currently teaching cello in their pre-college department. Brad graduates in December. He plans to pursue a career in music for at least a few years and may eventually incorporate his love of music with his engineering degree.

Specifically the tattoo is based on various photographs and on a drawing by Susan Sheets in honor of the 500th anniversary of the birth of Andrea Amati in 1505. The cello depicted is "The King" by Amati, Cremona, built around 1538. It is the oldest known cello in existence. You can see additional pictures and read about it at http://www.usd.edu/smm/Cellos/Amati/Amaticello.html .

Our Alex P. Keaton becomes Tommy Lee

2008-10-07T00:03:00.004-05:00

Bradford is our most conservative offspring of the entire crew. He's been campaigning hard to convince all his over-eighteen siblings they need to vote and to be sure to vote Republican, and he plans to drive all the way from Atlanta to Nashville so he can exercise his right. He never makes any major decision without months and months of research and before he has driven all his friends and family batty with his obsessive lists of pros and cons. When he was ten years old, we told him he could have his own dog for his birthday. One year of non-stop discussions and a dozen books later, he finally decided on the breed, the breeder and the puppy. That partnership rivaled that of Lassie and Timmy for many years.

Our Alex P. Keaton has gone and gotten himself a tattoo. To his credit, I have to say he didn't take his disfigurement lightly. He has talked of nothing else for months and has had me and everyone else he could corner spend hours on the computer comparing the relative talents of various tattoo artists around the Atlanta area. He had been on the waiting list of one sought-after artist for quite sometime now, and I'll bet he bombarded the poor guy with photos and emails while he waited so he could make sure the tattoo would turn out exactly as he imagined.

Brad is happy with the tattoo, and although I'm not too crazy about the idea, I'm glad he's happy. My fear was that it wouldn't turn out to be 100% perfect, and he would obsess about its flaws. In Brad's words, "it's awesome". I just hope he feels the same way when he is pushing fifty like his old mom and pop.

Weekend Field Trips

2008-10-05T18:35:00.005-05:00

We had a full weekend. On Saturday we spent the day at Cheekwood. They had a special scarecrow exhibit in the botanical gardens and a Faberge egg exhibit in the museum. The kids liked the scarecrows but didn't appreciate the Faberge eggs. That was no surprise. The kids especially liked the water gardens (playing in the ponds and waterfall) and the sculpture garden. Unfortunately I forgot my camera, so I missed some wonderful photo opportunities.

On Sunday after church we went to a fall festival at the Owen Farm right next door to us. In fact they are so close we sat outside on the trampoline on Saturday night and listened to their bluegrass band! This was the Owen's first year for the festival, and they did a good job. The kids played on the Go Jump equipment, rode a hay wagon, rode a train made up of a four wheeler and plastic fifty-gallon barrels, and they spent the majority of the time playing in a giant sandbox filled with corn kernels. It was a beautiful day, but it sure didn't feel like autumn. It was just plain hot!

Peek-A-Boo

2008-10-04T22:43:00.012-05:00

Ephraim loves to play peek-a-boo. When we say, "Where's Ephraim?" he slaps his hands over his eyes, but he's usually peeking just a bit. So cute!

Ephraim is still so tiny. It's beginning to get pretty cold at night, so Ben and I took him to the Old Navy sale for some winter clothes. He tried on about a dozen 6-12 months pants, but even the pants with the adjustable waistbands were way too huge. The 3-6 months fit him in the waist, but they were just a little too short. We ended up buying him a bunch of long-sleeved t-shirts and a couple of pairs of denim overalls. Ephraim is going to look like a farmer all winter!

What Kind of Dog Am I?

2008-10-01T09:17:00.002-05:00

Fourteen Months Old Now!

2008-09-29T22:45:00.009-05:00

Honest, officer, I'm innocent!

Ephraim wasn't so sure about Jensen's robot at first.

I finally captured Ephraim's big grin!

I love his expression with his tongue stuck out.

He's standing alone and taking a couple of steps.

Some mohawk!

My early reader

He must be looking for a vacation home.

He loved the little car Memaw gave him this weekend.

The 6-9 month overalls have to be rolled up.

We were playing hide-and-seek.

Ephraim's new mode of transportation - up on hands and toes.

Memaw's chocolate chip cookies

I don't think combing it will help it lay down!

Deja Vu All Over Again

2008-09-24T16:55:00.007-05:00

Ephraim will be 14 months old this week. Because he was born three months early, his adjusted age is 11 months. He recently had his developmental evaluation completed by TEIS. His gross and fine motor skills are close to age level in nearly every area, and he has even met some of the developmental milestones for a 15 month old! He hasn't, however, met any milestones for communication skills, so he is scoring below four months of age. We had a feeling that his communication skills were more than slightly delayed, and it concerned us that he is making almost no effort to mimic us, but seeing the report in black and white was a bit of a kick in the stomach.

A young woman from Foundations has been coming to our house once a week to work with Ephraim. Just this week she gave us a handful of printouts on the communication skills that are typical for a child who is between four and six months old. Helping Ephraim achieve these skills will be our priority.

Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it), we have plenty of experience with communication disorders and delays:

Riley, our 13-year-old biological son, has autism. At six years old he could not tell us his full name, name his brothers and sisters, give his telephone number or address, couldn't identify a single color, shape, letter or number and couldn't even tell us his age. He could, however, sing the lyrics to songs after hearing them only one time and could re-create long scenes from movies after only one viewing. He was both hypo-sensitive and hyper-sensitive. Haircuts were a nightmare because the trimmed hair on his neck felt like needles to him, and he would cry and curl into fetal position at the painful sound of the vacuum, bean grinder or a baby crying. On the other hand, he broke his foot, and we didn't even know it for a week.

Along with various biomedical treatments, primarily the gluten-free, casein-free diet, we battled his autism with Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). Riley is now up to grade level in every subject except for reading and spelling. He is almost 100% recovered from autism! Most of his delays are now due to his dyslexia, not his autism.

Along came Barrett and Keaton, adopted in 2002 from Guatemala at 14 months old. They were in separate but almost equally horrible foster homes, and they came to us with some major emotional baggage. At the age of two years old, we had extensive testing done at Vanderbilt. We were told one of the girls had severe global delays, and the other had profound global delays. We were encouraged to put their names on the waiting list at the Susan Grey School, were told it was doubtful they would ever develop speech, and they were given IQ's of less than 50.

They seemed much more seriously autistic than our son had ever been, all caused by their early environment. Where Riley's eye contact had been weak, Barrett's and Keaton's were non-existent. Where Riley was lovable and a pretty fair cuddler, they would stiffen, arch their backs and scream for hours if we tried to engage them. Pressed to communicate, they would "zone out" to the point that the Vandy psychologist was convinced they were having petit mal seizures. At two years old, their communication skills were less than that of a two month old.

During this time Foundations was coming to our house once a week, we were taking them once a week to the Bill Wilkerson Speech and Hearing Clinic at Vanderbilt for private speech therapy and a second day a week for a half day of developmental preschool. They were also receiving both physical and occupational therapy. Nothing was working. They spent the hours in their various therapies screaming and kicking the door or sitting like zombies.

So we took matters into our own hands and pulled out the ABA books. The first skill to be learned was to have the children sit in chairs for one second and work up to five seconds. Those first few weeks were awful! We would place them in their chairs, and they would immediately stiffen, slide into the floor and then scream at the top of their lungs for at least two hours afterwards.

Then we discovered the magic of mini M & M's. We would place them in their chairs, say "Good job" and immediately pop in a piece of candy. Bingo!

After that we worked on other skills for months with no progress. I would say, "Do this" and complete a task such as knocking on the table top, clapping my hands, waving bye-bye or sticking out my tongue. Ben would take their hands, copy the action and I would pop in the candy. We progressed to no screaming, but they wouldn't do the action without prompting.

One day it clicked! Remember the scene from the movie, "The Miracle Worker" when Annie Sullivan runs water over Helen Keller's hands and signs "water" over and over? Suddenly it clicks, and Helen runs all over the yard wanting to know the sign for everything. The girls had the same light bulb moment within minutes of each other. Ben would mold their hands into the sign for "more", and I would pop in the candy. After about a million times, they froze, and you could see the wheels turning. Suddenly they signed for themselves until chocolate was running down their faces, and I was out of M & M's. Who cared if they just ate their weight in junk food! Then they hopped down, ran to the water fountain over and over and signed so that I would turn on the water. Then they ran to the back door and began signing "more" so that I would open and close the door. Maybe "more" wasn't exactly the sign for door opening. They had learned they could communicate, and we would respond.

Within weeks they were mimicking so many behaviors and signing so many words, I could no longer write down everything they knew! Exactly one year after their first evaluation, we took them back to Vandy and they saw the same psychologist. She could not believe they were the same children! They were extremely shy but now talking, could perform most of the tasks given to them, they were making eye contact and SMILING! She gave them new IQ scores of over 120 and said it would even be higher if she didn't have to factor in their language delays.

The girls have just begun first grade. They are doing 2nd grade math, are reading at 3rd grade level and write some amazingly-mature essays. They are snuggly, loving, silly, goofy, mischievous and have a wonderful sense of humor.

Today I pulled out those same ABA books for Ephraim. We are in a Catch 22 situation trying to receive speech therapy for him. We can't really say it was very helpful with the twins, so we are giving up the battle for services and will once again take matters into our own hands. I think we will see quick progress because I believe he has great potential. Ephraim is very coordinated, has a LONG attention span, and he's amazingly intuitive with anything mechanical. He's also fearless, is not shy at all, and most importantly, he has bonded with us -- our major obstacle with the girls.

We had our initial ABA session today, and his first task was "tap the table". I would tap the table three times, say, "Do this" and wait just a second to see if Ephraim would respond. Ben would then tap his hand for him, and I would quickly pop in a mini M & M while exclaiming, "Good job!" After only about five repetitions, we could see the wheels turning, and after ten repetitions, he tentatively placed his hand in a fist on the table top. After that, his attention span was spent, but we were very encouraged for our first day.

I am certainly not a psychologist, but I have my uninformed theory on why we are facing these challenges yet again. In the twins' case, they were neglected and ignored during that window of opportunity when children learn the give-and-take of communication. With Ephraim, I believe the overworked nannies were too busy at The Sarah Noble Malnutrition Center caring for the medical and nutritional problems of the children to dwell on developing their communication skills, so again that window of opportunity was lost. Because of Ephraim's extreme prematurity, he was more at risk than many of the other children for missing that opportunity. Our now-five-year-old daughter, who was born nine weeks early, initially had some minor communication delays, and since she is biological, I certainly can't blame her delays on early orphanage life. Whatever the cause, ABA has helped open those windows, and I'm very optimistic that we'll see great gains for Ephraim very soon!

Creative Writing

2008-09-23T14:31:00.004-05:00

As a part of our homeschool curriculum, all of the children are expected to write a story each day. Reid, our kindergartener, has decided to begin each essay with, "I am a _______". Here are four of my favorites:

I am a cat I eat cat food I poop in the litter box.

I am a tiger I eat people and drink water and I like to run.

I am a statue I like to stay still and I like to blow fake air.

I am a egg I like to get eaten this is the end.

A Miser's Weekend

2008-09-21T22:25:00.009-05:00

We had the perfect miser's weekend, and the kids had a blast with our simple pleasures! Because so many of the gas stations were out of gas, and the few that had gas had two-hour-long lines, we decided it would be prudent to stay home this weekend and not go to the lake. So our weekend fun started early.

Ben and I have been riding our bikes on Rails to Trails, a paved path that runs along the river, but we've been leaving the kids home with Bailey because we didn't have a way to take Ephraim along with us. This past week we bought a second bike trailer, so we all hit the trails Thursday morning and cycled the nine-mile-long round trip. Barrett and Keaton rode behind Ben, Ephraim and Reid rode behind me, and Jensen and Riley motored under their own steam. Ephraim loved it, but my legs weren't used to the extra baggage. I felt like I had wet noodles for legs by the end.

Thursday night we had a spend-the-night party in the apartment over Ben's office. About a year ago we bought a really cool house built in 1906 and converted the downstairs into a medical office, but left the upstairs as a two-bedroom apartment. The kids love to sleep there! It's right on Main Street, is walking distance to fast food and convenience stores, and it has cable. Even though we are talking about Main Street in a town of only 3500 people, that's big city for the kids! Our farmhouse doesn't have cable, and we are ten miles away from the nearest restaurant or store. So that night we all ate junk food, then the kids stayed up late watching Hannah Montana, and Ben and I stayed up late watching a Jon and Kate Plus Eight marathon. I've never seen the show before, but I'm now a fan.

Friday during the day Ben and I worked downstairs on the office. The office is up and running, but there are still lots of small cosmetic things left to do. That evening we went to the Hometown Hoedown at the county co-op. They served free hamburgers, BBQ, drinks and chips, had several bluegrass bands performing, and they gave away so many door prizes, nearly everyone won something. Jensen won two free music lessons; she's thinking she's going to give the banjo a try. The twins were fascinated by the clogging, so they've decided that's their new love. We saw lots of people we knew. They all oohed and aahed over Ephraim and wanted to carry him around. I was surprised how many men asked to hold him!

Saturday was a gorgeous day, so the kids all played outside while Ben and I refinished some bookshelves for Ben's office. That evening we took the girls and a friend of Jensen's to Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds at Movie in the Park. Can you tell our girls are Hannah Montana freaks?!? The event was sponsored by the Civitans. Admission was free, Go Jump set up all the blow-up outdoor equipment, they served corn dogs, chips, drinks and ice cream sandwiches for only $2.oo a person, and they gave away boxes of popcorn during the movie. The screen was set up at homebase, and we got there early enough that we were able to set up our quilt right at the edge of the grass behind the baseball diamond at second base -- front row center stage!

Sunday we went to church. After lunch the kids played outside again while we continued working on the bookshelves. Tonight Bailey read the little guys another chapter of Betsy-Tacy, and the kids all went to bed worn out and ready for some sleep.

Philosophical Questions

2008-09-18T18:00:00.001-05:00

Reid had two questions for me today:
(1) Why can't you catch air?
(2) Why can't you stand on a cloud?

Future Career Goals

2008-09-17T18:25:00.003-05:00

The girls went to Girl Scouts last night. Reid is a Daisy this year, and Barrett and Keaton are Brownies. Last night was Career Night. The girls were asked to draw pictures of what they wanted to be when they grew up. Keaton wants to take money from people at Wal-Mart. I hope her plans are to be a cashier and not a pickpocket! Barrett wants to be Hannah Montana, and Reid wants to be a bunny rabbit! Hmmm ...

Second Post-Adoption Visit

2008-09-16T15:47:00.006-05:00

I can't believe it's already time for Ephraim's second post-adoption visit! Where is the time going? This was an important month for another very special reason too. September 10th was the twins' *sixth* Gotcha Day! Wow!

Snoozin' Again

2008-09-14T16:08:00.007-05:00

That kid can nap anywhere - except in his own bed! We went to the lake this weekend, and Ephraim fell asleep in Ben's arms in the water. We had a pile of floats on the dock, so Ben set him on the stack and covered him up with a towel. He didn't stir for over an hour. Why then can't he manage to take more than a 15-minute nap at home in his crib with his softest blanket and wearing warm, dry pajamas?!?

What a weekend! When we left on Thursday, the weather was gorgeous and gas was $3.55 a gallon. When we returned home on Sunday, the power was out in our cabin, we were driving on both sides of the road dodging large, downed tree limbs ... and gas was $4.45 a gallon.

Random Cute Pictures

2008-09-10T22:45:00.002-05:00

Nothing much happened today. I just had some cute pictures I wanted to post. By the way, I'm trying to come up with a new blog site title since, "Journey to Ephraim" no longer applies. Any suggestions out there? I can't think of too many sayings that involve a family of fourteen other than Cheaper By The Dozen or Dirty Dozen, and I can't manage a cute title like Pho for Four because it just gets TOO long when I have to include food from Vietnam, Russia, Guatemala *and* the United States!

Chillin'

2008-09-08T22:05:00.003-05:00

Although Ephraim HATES being confined in his car seat and his highchair, he loves his stroller. This weekend we took walks each evening at Land Between the Lakes. Ephraim tried so hard to stay awake and enjoy the ride, but he just couldn't keep his eyes open.

He Stands!

2008-09-08T10:58:00.004-05:00

Ephraim is standing very solidly now. In fact, he can lower himself and stand back up without help. He's so proud of himself! When he stands, he looks to make sure we are watching, grins broadly, claps (which makes him sway a bit), and yells, "yea!"

Ephraim is still a very tiny guy. The clothes he's wearing in the pictures, which are still a bit large for him, are 6-9 months, and his too-big sandals, shown in an earlier blog, are a size four.

Priorities

2008-08-28T21:13:00.006-05:00

We are getting the heck out of Dodge until Tuesday afternoon! We're heading to the lake tonight. No telephone, computer or television. Ah, peace and quiet! You can see our priorities in our luggage. The duffle bag on the left holds clothes for eight people -- one bathing suit, one t-shirt, a pair of shorts and pajamas for each person. The duffle bag on the right holds books!

More Early Intervention Woes

2008-08-28T17:47:00.004-05:00

Even though we can't get a hearing screen, speech therapy, physical therapy or occupational therapy until we get a social security number and three insurance denials for therapy services, we were told that we could have someone come to our home twice a week from Foundations to work with Ephraim on his developmental and communication skills.

Well today we waited around half the morning for yet another paperwork meeting with Foundations so that Ephraim's sessions could finally begin. The appointment involved signing three pieces of paper, which took all of five minutes. For this I cleaned my house and put on makeup!

After we signed the paperwork, the teacher got out her handy dandy appointment notebook. She gave us a choice of either 1pm or 2pm on Thursdays. Great! When we told her that it wasn't a good time for Ephraim, she said 9am to noon was booked each day because her other clients took naps after lunch! Duh! When does she think Ephraim naps!?! She's the only teacher for four counties, so they can't just assign him to a different teacher. This is crazy!

Bathtime

2008-08-28T09:25:00.003-05:00

I've tried and tried to get a picture of Ephraim with one of his big grins, but he's just not cooperating! I did catch a few tiny smiles during his bath today. That kid's going to be able to have an awesome mohawk when he's a teenager, isn't he?

More Cute Pictures

2008-08-27T19:37:00.003-05:00

Two posts in one day!

Peek-A-Boo

2008-08-27T13:38:00.003-05:00

Ephraim has learned to play peek-a-boo, and it's so cute! He'll squint his eyes and cover up a bit of his face with his tiny, carry-around blankie when we say, "Where's Ephraim?" Then he rips off the blankie, pops open his eyes, and gives us a wide gummy grin when we yell, "Pea Pie!"

I can't go to the grocery store without having a half a dozen people making all over Ephraim. He'll act shy, ducking his head down into my chest and closing his eyes to "hide". Then he'll turn his head to the side and peek at them out of one squinted eye. Of course, that makes everyone laugh, so Ephraim does it all the time now!

Ephraim Update

2008-08-26T21:37:00.008-05:00

Ephraim picking up a tiny bit of dirt. I think we can rule out his initial diagnosis of retinopathy.

He has learned the joys of slamming doors.

Ephraim looks evil in all his close-up pictures now. He squints each time I point the camera at him because he knows the flash is coming.

Playing with his favorite toy, the doorstop

... and quickly up the stairs he goes.

First pair of shoes

Things seem to have suddenly clicked with Ephraim. We've all acted like monkeys for months now trying to get Ephraim to mimic us. He's just looked at us like we are all crazy. This past weekend he was the monkey! If we hold our hand up and say, "give me five", he slaps our hand, he has learned to click his tongue, and if we waggle our head back and forth, he'll do the same with a huge grin on his face. In fact he'll initiate the tongue clicking or head shaking if he thinks we aren't paying enough attention to him. He'll roll or toss a ball back and forth, and he'll also pass an item back and forth and say, "thank you" when he takes it from us. Actually it sounds more like, "dang you". Other skills have suddenly clicked too. He can squat down on his heels and stand back up without support. He's standing without support now for several seconds. He's cruising the furniture and scampers up the stairs the second I turn my back. He's also just cut his four top teeth! The side teeth are coming in more quickly than his front two teeth, so he's going to look like Dracula for awhile.

It's a good thing he's suddenly making so much progress because I think we can forget help from Early Intervention. We've jumped through all their hoops for months now, filled out all the paperwork, had multiple meetings with them, and Ephraim has been tested twice already. We had his hearing screen set up for next week, and his therapy was supposed to begin right after that. Suddenly they call us today to tell us there are even more hoops to jump through.

First they need a social security number. Well we haven't gotten one of those yet because we had to wait for his Certificate of Citizenship, then file a re-adoption and name change with the Chancery Court, and wait for the paperwork to all be returned before we could even apply for the social security number in his new name.

We had told them at the very first meeting that our insurance wouldn't cover speech, OT or PT. They said that was no problem; it was covered by TEIS. Now they are telling us that before Ephraim can begin therapy, we have to get a letter from our insurance company stating they won't cover the services, then we have to go to the state to get a TennCare denial letter, and finally we have to get a denial from CoverKids. Arghh! By the time we get Ephraim's social security number and a denial letter from three different insurance companies, Ephraim will probably be too old for Early Intervention!

Yet Another One Has Flown the Coop

2008-08-22T11:19:00.005-05:00

Griffin left yesterday morning for Wake Forest University, which is eight hours from home. He plans to major in either pre-med/physics or math. He's not sure which yet because he really likes both subjects. Fortunately for him he inherited his father's brains! He's thinking he'd like to eventually be a radiologist or pathologist. That's so many years down the line though, he could change his mind many times over before he must make that final decision.

He Drinks! He Wets! He's Better Than a New Puppy!

2008-08-21T12:51:00.002-05:00

It's rough to be the baby brother of seven older sisters. Here's a couple of pictures of the girls' dress-up play. I don't know if Ephraim is an evil angel or an irritated fairy.

Yet Another Birthday

2008-08-20T22:16:00.003-05:00

Today was Jensen's eleventh birthday. Whew! That's the last birthday until the end of October. Jensen just had a small family celebration today, but she'll have a couple of girls spend the night this weekend. Her celebration turned out to be a hand-me-down birthday, but that's exactly what she wanted. She's been dying to get her hands on our old digital camera ever since we bought a new one for our trip to Vietnam, so that's what she got. Griffin gets a laptop computer from Wake Forest when he starts school this week, so he gave Jensen his desktop. That way she can store her photos and learn PhotoShop if she'd like. Griffin reformatted the computer and put on a user-friendly version of Linux. I wonder how many eleven year olds run Linux?!? Jensen loves to write, so I'm going to get her set up with a blog of her own. The rest of the family gave her a printer, photo paper, a memory card and rechargeable batteries for her camera, so it looks like she's all set for that budding journalism career!